Velcrometer
Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks
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M. Giant's Velcrometer Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks |
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Friday, March 26, 2010 The Easy Weigh When I went to my annual check-up a year ago, it turned out that to my surprise, I had lost an unspectacular but measureable amount of weight. At that point, I had been working from home for almost a year, and I chalked it up to that. That may sound dumb, but there are a lot of factors that change when you stop going to the office. You also stop raiding the vending machines, because there aren't any, and when you do get a snack, it's a small handful of chips or crackers instead of a whole bag that you end up feeling obligated to finish. When there's a project you're avoiding, you do a load of laundry (and all the stair climbing that goes along with that) instead of procrastinating on the Internet. And if you decide to spend a whole day just working out instead of doing your job, nobody notices. As far as I know. Even better than the news that I'd lost weight was that I'd done it without any conscious effort. Now I could just keep doing what I was doing and wait for the pounds to continue to melt away. They would melt slowly, like a snowbank on a 31-degree day, but it would happen without me having to try any of these radical new fads like diet or exercise. I may be on the blobby side now, but if I could just keep it up I'd go through my fifties looking like a Lipitor commercial. As this year's check-up approached, I tried not to make too much of the fact that my pants feel tighter. I just wrote it off as not having bought any for the past couple of years, other than the ones I was wearing. Yeah, no. In the past year, I gained back everything I lost and then some. I could see my Lipitor-commercial future receding into my own pendulous jowls. So what changed? And how to change it back? I have a few theories. M. Edium. Being the father of a five-year-old is a lot less demanding, at least physically, than being the father of a four-year-old. Now that he's old enough to follow verbal directions more readily and keep himself out of life-threatening situations for minutes at a time, my parenting style has become more sedentary as a result. Yes, he knows not to run out into traffic, but I'm going to have to be buried in a shipping container. Hardly a fair trade. My office-mate. I used to get busy and forget to eat lunch sometimes. That never happens now that Trash works at home with me. And my once-common lunches of Pringles and Eazy-Cheese are long behind me now. I can only conclude that these balanced midday meals she's always making me eat are packing on the pounds. Bad Food Night. Yes, some of the more exotic dishes we've put together for our almost-weekly dinners with Chao have recipes that are posted on This Is Why You're Fat. But we're always careful to download those recipes from different sites. Shouldn't that count for something? The recaps. Mid-January through early March is my busiest time at TWoP, with four shows on the air at the same time. Writing in punishing detail about up to three and a half hours of television a week necessitates a whole lot of time sitting at the computer. But then I did that last year too, at the same time. Maybe the difference is that I was more stressed out about it. This time I knew it could be done. Plus I just wrote them all with a macro anyway and then spent the time I saved playing video games. The cats. As previously mentioned, Trash thinks I've become too submissive to our feline companions. I may be forced to admit she's right. Or I at least need to start making better use of those intervals when there isn't one in my lap, holding me down. Ten seconds of Tae Bo a day couldn't hurt, right? I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that if I really want to find the source and solution to this problem, I need to look in the mirror. And I tried that, but I couldn't see anything around myself. Just have to keep searching, I guess. Eventually I'll find something I can pin this on. I'll look later, though. I've got a lot of other stuff to write after I finish this entry, and anyway if I get up now, the cats will jump down and shake off all those deep-fried Pop-Tart crumbs I've been spilling on them for the last few hours, and it'll take me like ten minutes to get M. Edium to clean it up. posted by M. Giant 7:56 AM 2 comments 2 Comments:Maybe you should have another baby. With no time to sleep, or eat, you're sure to drop those extra lbs. Plus, you'll have five years of strict supervision to keep you busy. :D:D Trust me, I'm looking at the cause of my sleep deprivation right now.
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Two words. Stomach. Flu.
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