M. Giant's
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Wednesday, February 24, 2010  

Over Lap

Even with both of us working at home, mornings around here can be a little hectic. We race around trying to get M. Edium conscious and dressed and fed and out the door, because he doesn't work from home. His Montessori school is a long way from perfecting telecommuting technology. So then I usually drive him to school, come home (in a hurry if I have a morning conference call coming up), and proceed to get myself yelled at. I'm late for Exie's morning lap-snuggle, and he's not happy about it. Even if I'm actually early.

Trash started calling me "Crazy Cat Person" when she started working at home, which is totally unfair. First of all, the whole point of having cats is to bond with them, and if that involves letting them curl up in your lap while you're working on your laptop, then where's the harm? Secondly, it only looks like Exie's in my lap for four hours nonstop; he takes several breaks during that time, some of them as long as a few minutes. And finally, I see no problem with being motivated to keep certain members of our household happy when they have a history of expressing unhappiness by peeing on our shit.

And does it really interfere with my daily routine? How could it, when it's part of it? Yes, I might occasionally wish I could get up to turn on my printer, or get something from the back of my desk, or make it to the bathroom before the whites of my eyes turn yellow.

Trash not only doesn't understand this, she doesn't contribute to the effort. She claims that the cats can't get as comfortable on her, due to her workspace configuration and the way she sits and the less expansive real estate of her lap. Worse yet, when she wants me to do something, she expects me to get up and do it right away, whether the cat has just arrived or is fast asleep. Is that even fair, I ask you? I mean, it's not like that grease fire in the kitchen is going to just run away if I don't get to it in the next ten minutes.

I even get mocked for my understanding of their separate snuggling styles. Phantom is a little more high-maintenance. Generally confining her snuggles to the afternoon, she'll purr and writhe happily for an indefinite period of time, but becomes mightily offended if I shift my legs while they're under her. And in exchange for keeping her cooped up inside, making her crap in a plastic pan that I then scoop out daily, and only checking her food and water bowls a few times a day, I think a little deep vein thrombosis is the least I can endure in return.

Whereas Exie, who as I've said is more of a morning snuggler, will put up with pretty much anything. It doesn't matter how many times I cross and uncross my legs; until he decides he's done, he'll stay up there until he falls down. It's the falling down where his version of high-maintenance comes in. Trusting to the point of arrogance, he sees it as my job to keep him from rolling right off should he sleepily shift positions. It's not as bad as it used to be, whatever Trash might say. Yes, I did get pretty good at one-handed typing during those periods when he would expect me to support his unconscious head lest he spill limply to the floor like a furry Slinky, but it is with mixed emotions that I tell you that those days seem to be over. Mostly.

But to Trash, all this just translates into "Crazy Cat Person." I think she's just jealous. I've told her she can snuggle in my lap during the workday too, but so far she hasn't taken me up on it. Maybe I should stop insisting she leave room for the cats there.

posted by M. Giant 10:03 AM 6 comments

6 Comments:

I promise, she isn't just jealous. Those cats have M. Giant TRAINED, and he is totally a crazy cat person. I'm talking full-on nutter.

By Blogger Trash, at February 24, 2010 at 10:14 AM  

Wow. I'm sort of with Trash on this one. And my husband is also a crazy cat person. I think we need a support grou.

By Anonymous Amy, at February 24, 2010 at 7:09 PM  

Perfect! Some people just don't get how great it is to have a cat in your lap.

By Blogger Rachel, at February 24, 2010 at 11:18 PM  

My husband is ALSO a crazy cat person! He's in grad school/seminary, so whenever I call home and he's doing his homework, he reports which cat is in his lap. He works at a computer desk most of the time, so it's not unusual for him to have one in his lap, on on the back of his chair and one on the printer.

By OpenID sharoncville, at February 25, 2010 at 7:53 AM  

I can't sit down for more than a minute before one of may cats cops a squat. Would I change it? Never.

By Anonymous Licie, at February 25, 2010 at 2:45 PM  

Having cats sit on yo doesn't make you a Crazy Cat Person. It makes you something even better: Cat Furniture.

By Anonymous rabrab, at February 27, 2010 at 12:05 AM  

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