M. Giant's
Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks

Monday, December 03, 2007  

Family Bed

On Desperate Housewives (and this marks the first time I've ever started an entry with that sentence, though not, I fear, the last, now that I'm writing about it for TWoP and am starting to…hang on, let me start over)

On Desperate Housewives, Bree (Marcia Cross) has adopted her newborn grandson and is pretending to be his birth parent along with her second husband, Orson. This gives the show an excuse to "explore" some current baby-parenting controversies. For instance, a couple of weeks ago, Bree wanted little Benjamin circumcised. Orson, still traumatized from his own circumcision at the age of FIVE, did not. This is the kind of thing parents should really agree on in advance. Otherwise the parent in favor will just sneak off and have it done anyway and there'll be a big fight. Fortunately, Trash and I agreed on this issue before we even agreed to adopt a child. We didn't poll M. Small on the issue at the time, because being six months old, we didn't consider him equipped to make an informed decision. Which is why he (NOTE TO SELF DELETE THIS SENTENCE BY 2019) no longer wears turtlenecks, if you know what I mean. And, by the way, if you're one of the militants in favor, don't bother posting a comment criticizing us for our decision, because it will simply get…snipped.

The following week, Bree had decided -- again, without Orson's consent -- to explore the concept of "the family bed," the formal term for "letting the baby sleep with you and hoping you don't squish him." Trash and I were also in agreement on this, and did not solicit M. Small's opinion, as it would have no doubt differed from ours.

Lately we've gotten some clear and increasingly frequent confirmation that this is in fact the case. In the past couple of weeks, I've woken up in the wee hours several times to discover that Trash and I (and the cats, obviously) are not alone.

I don't miss having to go into M. Small's room at night to feed him or change his diaper or just soothe him back to sleep when he wakes up. These are things he seems to have figured out how to handle. But in the last case, handling it involves getting up, coming into our room, and climbing in bed with us.

We don't have a particularly low bed, but when I told Trash today, "You have to quit letting him get in bed with us." Trash disavowed any involvement. I know that M. Small always approaches the bed from her side, since she sleeps closest to the door. I also assumed, after any number of weekend morning wake-up calls, that she was helping him up onto the bed when he arrived. Come to find out that he's been wriggling up in between us without any assistance, so neither of us is any the wiser until he shifts and mumbles enough to wake us up. And then I have to go back into his room after all, this time schlepping thirty-odd pounds of semi-conscious human and hoping I don't suffer a sudden relapse of Yellow Wiggle Disease as I get to my feet holding him.

This is why it's important for parents to present a united front, because the kid -- no matter how young -- is likely to have a different opinion and try to implement it. If this is how determined he is when we agree, I hate to think of how fast he'll steamroller us both if Trash and I ever have widely divergent opinions on something relating to him.

That said, if he grows his foreskin back, I'm giving up.

posted by M. Giant 8:03 PM 10 comments


Hey, you mistyped the URL at DHAK; it sends people to blogpsot.com instead of blogspot. I clicked it and was sent to some crazy site that tried to open a bunch of popups and download something onto my computer. It crashed my computer; I had to restart.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 3, 2007 at 8:46 PM  

Blogsot: for the drunken blogger.

By Blogger Cori, at December 3, 2007 at 9:29 PM  

Very interesting post Giant

An effective parenting style involves preparing consistent sleep schedule and giving proper sleep training for our child sleep.

By Blogger Health Watch Center, at December 4, 2007 at 3:47 AM  

Hee! Sorry, but the above comment from health watch center made me chuckle.

Suddenly I'm craving spam for breakfast, too........

By Blogger Heather, at December 4, 2007 at 4:48 AM  

Wow, guess my spouse and I really missed the boat on that sleep training thing. We didn't intend to have a "family bed" - it just sort of happened. My hub was gone 14 hours a day (10 hour work day plus 2 hrs each way commute) and I needed the baby to sleep quietly, so the baby ended up in our bed. Plus that was his bonding time with dad. Now the baby is almost 7 and still wants someone to lay down with him as he goes to sleep (once he's asleep we can leave). But his baby sister refuses to sleep on her own . . .

By Blogger Bunny, at December 4, 2007 at 5:50 AM  

Man...the family bed. That will get maternity nurses and midwives laughing (as they take your baby permenantly out of your custody).

By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 4, 2007 at 9:29 AM  

"And, by the way, if you're one of the militants in favor, don't bother posting a comment criticizing us for our decision, because it will simply get…snipped."

Sam still wears a turtleneck (mental note to self: come back and delete this comment in 2020), but still when I hear stuff like this, I always wonder how the militants expect you to respond. By putting it back on?

By Blogger Tammy, at December 4, 2007 at 8:43 PM  

Our crafty son not only gets in without us knowing about it, but he has figured out that if he comes into our bed before 4am I will put his 31 lbs back in his race car bed, but 4:01 and we are waking up soon enough so I don't bother. Razza frazza smart ass.

By Blogger me, at December 5, 2007 at 12:13 PM  

Hello Heather, I am not a spammer... Well is that wrong? in participating or commenting on other blogs??

By Blogger Health Watch Center, at December 8, 2007 at 3:09 AM  

Pfft. Midwives are usually all for the family bed but even if they weren't, they wouldn't hassle you about it. Every family works it out for themselves. We actually tried to co-sleep (there are safe ways to do it) but our son refused--he hated sleeping next to us. So we bought a crib, pretty much at his request. He still doesn't like to be in bed with us. Maybe we stink or something...

By Blogger emjaybee, at December 9, 2007 at 10:25 PM  

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