M. Giant's
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Friday, December 30, 2005  

I know it's semi-obligatory to do a year in review, but I didn't have nearly as much stuff happen to me this year as in 2004. As a quick scan of the year's archives will tell you. Pretty much the main things I accomplished in '05 were a) writing 49 recaps for Television Without Pity, and b) going from being the father of a two-and-a-half-month-old to being the father of a fourteen-and-a-half-month-old. Not all at once, though. That would have been weird.

* * *

There are so many small creatures swarming around our house that it's natural for there to be a proliferation of cutesy nicknames for them as well. One wonders how Strat (also known as "Muffin" with numerous variations thereof, despite my initial objections that Muffin is a dog's name), Turtle (alias "Turtley," alias "Turtley Awesome," alias "Turdlinger," alias "Turd Ferguson," alias "Moron"), Phantom (a.k.a. "Phantommy," "Come Back," and "Where You Going") even know who they are. Especially now that M. Small has taken to referring to them all, both individually and collectively, as "Keeedee!"

But it's nothing compared to the number of nicknames for the kid himself. Not that we ever address him as M. Small to his face; that's just too awkward and inorganic. But he has plenty of other alternate handles. To wit:

Chunk. This one got tacked on a couple of months after his birth, when we realized that he had stopped looking like a baby bird and had filled out into a compact but solid little chunk of humanity. How long did it take to stick? Put it this way: when we went to the courthouse last December to set up the time for his adoption hearing, Trash asked the clerk, "Do we bring the Chunk?" "I get to see the Chunk," the clerk agreed. Variations: Chunk-boy, Das Chunk, Chunken Master.

Pinchy. Only Trash uses this one, a reference to the child's incredibly pinchable cheeks. Seriously, when he smiles you can see it from behind. However, I can't get on board with this one, because as you recall, Pinchy was the name of Homer's pet lobster on The Simpsons. Calling our son Pinchy just somehow makes it seem like we're going to end up eating him. Variations: Pinchy McGee, PinchpinchpinchPINCHY!

Honey Bunches of Oats. Because "Honeybunch" would be just too cloying, right? Variations: You want variations on that?

Chins. This one has stuck around for some reason, even though it doesn't really fit any more. The kid used to have so many chins that you could riffle through them like the pages of a book, and cleaning them out required a comb. Not any more. He's down to one or two these days. But we're not about to start calling him "The Chin" any time soon. We're not raising a mob hitman here. Variation: [firstname] "Chins" [lastname].

Little Dude. Oh, come on. Just look at him. The Little Dude abides. Variations: Little Man, Little Guy, Little Fellow, Little Chap, etc., ad infinitum.

No wonder he just calls himself "Behbeee."

posted by M. Giant 7:39 PM 7 comments


Little Dude. Oh, come on. Just look at him

I would be HAPPY to look at him - where are the pictures? WE NEED PICTURES! How can you do a post on how cute he is without a photo or two?

By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 30, 2005 at 8:39 PM  


By Blogger Aethlos, at December 30, 2005 at 10:02 PM  

I call my husband "Honey Bunches of Oats" for the same reason. =)

By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 31, 2005 at 6:46 PM  

I call my husband "Papa-San" (Mr. Papa) despite the fact that we have no M. Tinies/Smalls at all - just our beloved furry baby. Who is nicknamed the following:
Little Pea, Little Feet, Little Bottom (etc ad nauseum) Bug-Bug, Bug-Bart and "The Bug" Stinky, Stinkpea and BabyPea. My own nicknames are far, far to embarassing to relate.

By Blogger Maya, at December 31, 2005 at 9:05 PM  

Hey, what happened to The Poopsmith? I loved that name.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at January 2, 2006 at 1:46 PM  

Oh my god. I love that he calls himself Behbeee. He is saying "baby," right? Because that is too cute.

I cannot believe how the time flies and how he has gotten so big and so old!

By Blogger DeAnn, at January 2, 2006 at 2:55 PM  

I've often thought about doing a post listing the hundreds of names we have for our cats, but that would just be too sad and a little lame. So until we have a baby, I'm just sitting on this one.

I like Little Chap, so very British.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at January 3, 2006 at 1:13 PM  

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