M. Giant's
Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks

Monday, September 27, 2004  

The Story So Far

So we're suddenly quite busy around here, preparing for the arrival of M. Tiny (TM the folks who bring you Television Without Pity). We were given a couple of months, and now that about a twelfth of that has ticked away, let me see if I can't get you caught up on what's been going on in the M. Giant/Trash house over the past year and a half in regard to matters reproductive.

Last spring, Trash was having herself a little round of denial. She took approximately a hundred pregnancy tests, as if the things were graded on a curve. "I think I can pee again, a little," she'd say. "Grab me a test, would you? No, a different one." She threw most of them away after seeing the results, but she held on to one in particular. "Look at this one," she'd say. "Remember how long it took for the line to show up? Remember how light it was at first?"

I learned that grocery shopping for a pregnant woman is hard.

One Monday, she called me from work to tell me she was bleeding. I left work, picked her up at her office, and took her to the hospital.

Three days later, the two of us--no longer 2.5--were on the plane to Hawaii. Try going to Hawaii sometime when you can't swim, drink, or spend much time in the sun. Not the best way to experience the Aloha State. On the other hand, if you need to recover from a miscarriage, there are a lot of worse places to do it.

The months went by. I changed jobs. The two of us lived in a house that we'd thought would soon be housing three. There was talking. Thinking. Crying. Soul-searching. And eventually, our first informational meeting at an adoption agency.

When we originally decided to pursue adoption, they told us that once you're approved, the wait can be anywhere from six months to two years. Most people wind up on the long end of that range. This was in January.

Adoption is expensive and it requires a lot of paperwork. Maybe someday people will be able to go to a baby store and choose small humans from right off of the shelf. Or, more realistically, fish them out of a vat of liquid nutrients. Then they'll go up to the checkout counter, hand over their credit card and ZIP code, and boom. One-stop shopping for your whole family, so to speak. But we're not there yet.

Filling out the paperwork and organizing the finances took a couple of months. We scheduled a home study for the first week of this past May. We spent most of April and the first week of May getting the house ready for the adoption worker's visit. With the help of my parents and Trash's mom (who came all the way from Iowa for the privilege), we addressed each of the thousand niggling things that were wrong with our house. From touching up chipped paint, to reinstalling window trim that had been off the walls for ten years, to attaching friction treads to the basement stairs, to reorganizing the contents of every cabinet and cupboard and drawer and shelf in the place, to tearing up the living room carpet, to installing a new floor in the entryway, we went through weeks of domestic boot camp with this place.

The adoption worker's walk-through took about ten minutes. The house is still clean, but thanks to entropy and our raised standards, there are about a thousand new little niggling things that are much littler and a bit more niggling.

Later that month, we got the news that we'd been approved. We figured we'd better tell the neighbors, because after seeing all this activity next door they were pretty well convinced that we were getting the house ready to go on the market.

In June, we finished the little portfolio that hopeful adoptive parents have to put together. It includes photos (many of which make us look like dorks) and a letter to birth parents (which kind of makes me sound like a dork). It went into the adoption agency's files, which meant that we were on the market for birth parents to choose us. We settled in for our six-month to two-year wait, hoping that maybe we'd find a miniature person under our tree around Christmas 2005.

And, well, you know the rest. In terms of preparation time, we woke up one day last week as a childless couple, and went to bed seven months pregnant. But without all the extra eating and peeing.

Please don't feel bad about not knowing all this, because very few people did. Even Trash and I had to have several debriefings to make sure we had the whole picture here. If you're among the few who did know, thank you for your discretion.

I can't tell you how much we've appreciated all the comments and e-mails we've gotten in the past few days. Even on the 24 forum at TWoP. In answer to the person who asked whether we have a baby registry, I would like to point you to the Loot section of my sidebar. Going through the miles and miles of baby gear threatened to freak us the fuck out, so I hope compiling it was worth it. And also, did I mention? Two months? Yikes.

I just hope the kid doesn't mind sleeping on the sofa for a little while, you know?

(Birth parents, if you're reading this, I'm kidding about that last part. Totally kidding.)

Today's best search phrase: "M. Giant and Trash's Baby Registry." Well, funny you should ask, because again, it's right here. What? No, I totally didn't just make up that search phrase.

Okay, I might have, a little bit.

posted by M. Giant 8:45 PM 15 comments


God forbid I register on blogger.
I made the offer via autercakes but hello, I can make it directly to you guys. Large swag which Gojira has already outgrown has beeen pledged to the Lad's grad student, but clothes and outgrown toys are yours if you want them- I have a stockpile of boy clothes starting at about the 3-6 month size range, plus his outgrown skinner box. I mean developmentally stimulating toys.


By Anonymous Anonymous, at September 27, 2004 at 9:03 PM  

It is so exciting that there will be an M.Tiny! You and Trash will be excellent parents. Congratulations! - angeline

By Anonymous Anonymous, at September 27, 2004 at 9:10 PM  

"M. Tiny" is the funniest online nickname ever.

Oh, and good luck!


By Anonymous Anonymous, at September 27, 2004 at 11:28 PM  

Wow! As a passerby, albeit a regular passerby, this made my day. Congratulations to the entire M. Giant clan.

By Blogger kj, at September 28, 2004 at 5:33 AM  

Congratulations and best of luck to the three of you!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at September 28, 2004 at 5:33 AM  

Yeah! Congratulations. You didn't register for Good Night Gorilla that one keeps you guessing until the end! I wish you all the best. Theresa

By Anonymous Anonymous, at September 28, 2004 at 5:55 AM  

Aggg, of course when my hard drive crashes and I'm without a computer for a few days is when the big announcements come! Congrats to both of you; excellent news! I hope the kitties take it well :~}

By Blogger a Carrie, at September 28, 2004 at 6:44 AM  

Congratulations!! Can't wait to hear funny M. Tiny stories!


By Anonymous Anonymous, at September 28, 2004 at 7:21 AM  

I've known M. Giant since we were both 13 years old, and Trash since not long after that... so I'll just mention at this time that seeing their names on a baby registry is-- for just a moment-- pretty F'ed up, man.

But that goes away pretty fast, and then it's just the coolest thing ever. Oh, the evil genius these two shall raise. I'll chip in to the volcano missile base fund now!


By Anonymous Anonymous, at September 28, 2004 at 2:31 PM  

Awww, I'm so happy for a lot of people today! My brother's wife just gave birth to their first child today [9/28] and now you are expecting M.Tiny 11/28. I'm headed over to amazon to order up two copies of "How To Be a Daddy!" Congratulations. --Sayer

By Anonymous Anonymous, at September 28, 2004 at 3:27 PM  

I leave town for one week and the world turns upsaide down. This is great news, M. Giant. I am so excited for you both.

And I loved looking through your baby register. Your baby is going to have such cute things. But you are aware that we all now know your real names, right? All the better to stalk you, if only I can find an excuse to come to MN.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at September 28, 2004 at 4:51 PM  

And to think that I forgot to mention that my brother's baby was born in Fairview Ridges Hospital in Burnsville, Minnesota! Another cool MN baby. When's the party? --Sayer

By Anonymous Anonymous, at September 28, 2004 at 5:26 PM  

Hey birth parents, if you are reading this, let me be the first to tell you that you have selected some amazing people. They're funny, and caring, and smart. You made a great choice in selecting them!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at September 29, 2004 at 7:32 AM  

Oh, wow!! Congrats, Dad!

The post reminds me very much of Dan Savage's "Kid," which if you haven't read it, is a great (and hilarious) chronicle of adopting a newborn. You should check it out if you get the chance between midnight feedings.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at October 12, 2004 at 10:01 PM  

CONGRATS so much... 35 years ago on the 4th of December I was born with strict instructions from my birth mother that I had to be in a home BY CHRISTMAS... which didn't leave much time and my parents knew they had been approved and then all of the sudden BABY! But with a little help from my grandmother and friends they pulled it all together and there are these GREAT shots of me under the Christmas Tree. That baby is going to have a great time with you as parents!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at October 15, 2004 at 10:18 AM  

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