M. Giant's
Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks

Wednesday, January 05, 2011  

Sock it to Me

I'm not going to tell you yet again that telecommuting doesn't have drawbacks, because it does. For instance, some claim that it causes your social skills to atrophy. Back in August, one of our neighbors asked me at the block party whether I had found that to be the case, and I wittily replied, "Uhh…talking…not good as…before [large swig of beer]." And I haven't talked to anyone since then, so clearly I don't need to worry about that.

The biggest problem -- and trust me, I am fully aware of how minor this is -- is that it's hard on my socks.

At first, this wasn't a problem at all. I had too many socks as it was, mainly as a result of the fact that whenever anyone asks me what I want for Christmas, the first thing that comes to mind is socks. For, like, fifteen years. We keep them not in a drawer, but in a laundry hamper in the closet, is how many we had. But then when I started ruthlessly throwing away pairs that had holes in them, the pile shrunk. As time went on, they stopped overflowing the big laundry hamper, then got moved to smaller laundry hamper, and by the end of this year, it was starting to get difficult to find complete pairs in there among all the socks we never wear but still keep for some reason.

So why the high-speed hosiery attrition? My theory is that spending my whole work day without shoes leaves them unprotected, and some spots on our floors aren't exactly a bowling alley. Between the room thresholds, a few rough floorboards, the odd protruding nail, and one floor grate in our bedroom that snags not only socks but also pant cuffs and even the occasional shirt-tail, it can be dangerous around here for socks. Christmas came just in time, and when I asked for socks, it wasn't just because it was the first thing that came to mind. I was getting desperate.

So why, you may ask, didn't I simply buy a pair of house slippers? Well, I had a few reasons. It's bad enough that Trash makes me wear actual pants during the day; having to wear the next-best thing to shoes around the house on top of that seemed untenable. Plus there's the whole Ward Cleaver vibe that I'm not crazy about, even if I wear a hoodie instead of a cardigan and chomp a pen between my teeth instead of a pipe.

But last month, as Trash was finishing up her Christmas shopping, she summoned me to her computer so I could help her pick out a pair of slippers online. With my sock population rapidly dwindling, my resistance was as low as my sock supply by this point, so all I wanted was a pair of slippers that didn't look too much like shoes on one extreme, and not too much like cartoon characters on the other. They didn't have my favorite color in stock for my size, but I sucked it up. Trash was giving me a gift, and it's the thought that counts, after all.

So Christmas came, and I opened my slippers, and my God, why didn't anybody tell me about these? They're so warm and soft, like your feet are being constantly hugged! And any concern I had about feeling like I was wearing shoes evaporated. These are to shoes what pajama bottoms are to pants, except I can wear them all day. And they're shoes I can wear on the furniture, to boot (no pun intended).

So now my only question is, how long will these last? Because maybe I should be considering a laundry hamper full of slippers to go next to the laundry hamper full of socks, no?

posted by M. Giant 7:29 AM 5 comments


All that praise yet you didn't share the brand of slipper?!? Don't keep me in suspense!


By Anonymous Anonymous, at January 5, 2011 at 8:19 AM  

Lands' End. You mean not all slippers are this awesome?

By Blogger M. Giant, at January 5, 2011 at 8:39 AM  

Now you've done it. I *need* a hamper full of slippers!

I'm partial to a Keen wool clog - you can go with or without socks, depending on your mood (and your furnace).

By Blogger mosprott, at January 5, 2011 at 9:13 AM  

LE rules. They make the most awesome flipflops ever, too. AND, when I, through my own damn stupidity, ruined my favorite ever pair of LE flipflops last year and then tweeted about my idiocy, someone from LE contacted me and sent me a new pair. For free. Again, as I said, LE rules.

I wanna know which slippers Trash gave you. I'm a bit of a slipper fiend. The numbers of slippers under my side of the bed give the Dust Bunny Army a real run for their money.

By Blogger Heather, at January 5, 2011 at 3:21 PM  

I've had my slippers for over 10 years now, despite there being a huge hole in one of them from a random dog. Yes, they were far too expensive (I'll just say triple digits), and were from New Zealand. But it felt like I had just inserted my foot into a sheep, but with less blood. I love my slippers and am unable to find a suitable replacement for them as of yet. The hunt continues... I wonder if Trash would be willing to measure my feet for me for a proper fitting... hahahahaha

By Blogger Chao, at January 18, 2011 at 11:59 AM  

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