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Monday, January 10, 2011  

2010 M. Ovies

So now that it's the second week of January and you're completely sick of anything with "2010" in the title, I thought now would be the ideal time to post my rankings of the movies I saw in the theater in 2010. Strike before the iron is cold enough that your tongue would stick to it, that's what I always say.

You'll notice that there are a number of movies in this list that were not actually released in 2010, or in a couple of cases, even in this century. I have addressed these anomalous entries by devising a highly advanced algorithm to account for what I call the "20th Century Classic" factor, which will properly weight their quality against the new releases with which they had to compete. After many tireless hours with my dad's slide rule and various university math department message boards, I believe I have succeeded in incorporating them into my rankings so that they are judged no more or less subjectively and arbitrarily than the rest of the list.

So here goes, in order from best to worst:

1. Toy Story 3. Almost perfect.
2. Inception. Far from perfect, but in the most interesting way.
3. Shutter Island. I admit it. I'm a sucker.
4. Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. A huge sucker.
5. Rashomon. Groundbreaking and riveting in 1960.
6. The Evil Dead. The scariest movie I ever saw in 1983.
7. True Grit. Better than the original, in the sense that I actually saw it.
8. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1. Thankless, but solid.
9. Iron Man 2. That cliche about sequels? Movies like this are the reason for it.
10. Centurion. Some of the movies within this movie were really good.
11. The King's Speech. Spit it out already.
12. Megamind. Trying so hard.
13. Knight and Day. Underrated (but not underrated enough to rank higher).
14. Date Night. Great cast, crap movie.
15. Alice in Wonderland. Probably would have liked it if I'd seen all of it.
16. Tron: Legacy. Better special effects don't fix the premise.
17. Legion. The apocalypse as first-person-shooter.
18. MacGruber.
19. Kick-Ass. A dark myth trapped in a tedious coming-of-age slog.
20. Dinner for Schmucks. Hypocritical and sanctimonious.
21. Youth in Revolt. Audience member in revolt.
22. Predators. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
23. Clash of the Titans. Some interesting new stuff, but all in the first half hour.
24. The American. Perhaps there will be a sequel in which something happens.
25. Salt. My eyes rolled longer than the credits did.

I wish I could say that every one of these movies had at least one actor in it that I've recapped for TWoP, but six of them didn't. Fortunately, six other ones had at least two, so it averages out. In case anyone cares but me.

So now, on to the 2011 list. I'd probably be getting a better start on that if there were anything playing right now that I remotely want to see.

posted by M. Giant 7:43 PM 0 comments


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