M. Giant's
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Monday, June 14, 2010  

Speaking in Code

As far as Trash and I being able to discuss things discreetly in front of M. Edium we always knew that spelling things was only going to be a temporary solution, as it is for so many parents. This was actually brought home to us earlier than we thought, when he was less than half the age he is now.

We were almost home, driving past the park near our house, when he suddenly asked us, "Are we going to be okay?"

This seemed rather existential for a two-year-old, not to mention more than a little out of the blue. But we assured him, "Yes, we're going to be okay. We'll be home very very soon."

That seemed to satisfy him, but as we continued on, he protested, "You said we were going to be okay!"

Trash and I looked at each other and at him, and none of us seemed to be on fire or anything.

"Be okay! Be okay!" M. Edium repeated with increasing agitation. It was then that we realized he was trying to use our occasional name for the park, which at that time was "P-A-R-K."

I should emphasize here that both Trash and I have standard Midwestern-American accents.

In more recent weeks, now that he's cracked the code on such parental utterances as D-U-M-B, M-A-C & C-H-E-E-S-E, S-T-A-R W-A-R-S, and I-M-P-E-N-E-T-R-A-B-L-E, we've had to come up with another way around it.

Fortunately we have one mode of communication that my parents didn't. I was in the kitchen scrounging for dinner, and I thought I could throw a couple of things together that, while random, might be something you could get at one of our favorite restaurants. And then I thought, hey, why not just go to that restaurant, since kids eat free on Mondays?

But I didn't want to be That Dad, who suggests a fun treat in front of the kid and then the mom has to be the asshole and say no in front of the kid. So I picked up my laptop and dashed off an IM to Trash, who happened working on hers.

She IMed back that she was calling our friend Bitter, and while they were on the phone and Trash was learning that Bitter wouldn't be able to meet us until a bit later, Trash realized M. Edium might need a snack to tide him over.

But she didn't want to give it away either, in case it fell through, so she said, "Someone…may need…interim sustenance…to eschew…famine."

It's only a matter of time before we're blinking at each other in Morse code. And we ended up not going to the restaurant anyway.

posted by M. Giant 7:22 PM 5 comments


But on the bright side, M. Edium's going to end up with quite the impressive vocabulary.

By Blogger Dawnie, at June 14, 2010 at 8:34 PM  

My husband and I text each other stuff like that. I think I like your method better.

By Blogger Jen, at June 15, 2010 at 11:03 AM  

Our code for the pool here is the aquatic entertainment complex. But she's 3 1/2 now, and we may have to come up with a new one.

By Anonymous stacey, at June 15, 2010 at 8:40 PM  

Do you guys know any foreign languages? That may do the trick. Although in our case, it sometimes takes me so much time to a) make my wife realise that I'm saying something in French or English and b) make her understand what I'm trying to say, that in the mean time our little boy already left the room. Or went to bed.

By Blogger Bart, at June 16, 2010 at 7:54 AM  

"Interim sustenance to eschew famine"! This makes me very happy.

By Blogger Katie L., at June 19, 2010 at 3:41 PM  

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