M. Giant's
Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks

Tuesday, April 20, 2010  

Dirty Windows

The bottom ledge of one of the windows on the south end of our house was rotting away, and we couldn't put off replacing it any longer. So we only put it off for another month or so.

I'm glad to say that after almost 17 years of living in this house, we're finding ourselves less having to undo the damage of previous owner Dr. Jellyfinger (who's about due for another visit, and this time I really am going to kill him) and more dealing with the issues that naturally arise from living in a sixty-year-old house. The windows on the first floor were all still original, thank God. You could tell because they're old-fashioned, double-hung ones with the counterweight, not all frosted-plexiglas louvers with an etched hibiscus pattern, that you have to open with a crank that fell off the year after we moved in and has since been replaced by a pair of pliers.

Still, some of them had to go, and the day after we heard a bird persisting in attempting to build a nest where the outside ledge used to be, the project began.

The amazing thing about replacing windows is the sheer number of "that's what she said"s that come up in the course of the work. After a while, even the most innocent remark can seem like it came out of the sore-filled mouth of a dockside whore. A small representative sample:

"Make sure you get it in the right hole."

"You can put your fingers in there."

"I felt it going in that time."

"Did you get it off?"

"Damn, it's too big for the hole."

"I need a little screw."

"I need a big screw."

"I need a bunch of screws."

[Sticking a screw through a washer and wiggling it in and out]

"That wood's holding up nice."

"Top or bottom?"

"You need to trim that a little."

"I need more caulk."

You might say I'd try to have a little decorum, with my five-year-old son in and out and my parents there the whole time. To which I might say, aren't you adorable?

posted by M. Giant 8:13 PM 0 comments


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