M. Giant's
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Sunday, April 25, 2010  

Cat Diet III

After Phantom's vet appointment a couple of weeks ago, Exie needed to be brought in too. Plus it was a chance to update Dr. M. on how the diet was going. And since Exie had gained three pounds since his last visit, I think the success of the diet can be clearly judged…too early to tell.

She was quite impressed by him, though. "You're something else, aren't you?" she flirted. He really is, with his long, black luxuriant coat. Before they put him on the scale, they politely speculated that maybe he's less fat than his poufy fur makes him look. Which he is, but not much less. Both he and Phantom have gained three pounds and three ounces. Which isn't as bad for him as it is for her, but only because he was fatter to begin with.

Still, I was hoping they would have noticed how nicely combed he is. Our habit is that at some point in every workday, he hops up into my lap for an indefinite period. I grab the kitty-comb I keep on my desk, and start working him over. He's always pretty ambivalent about this, because while sometimes he hates the comb enough to start grabbing at it, he always loves the attention more. Cats do give mixed signals, as you'll know if you've ever been bitten by something that's simultaneously purring.

On the morning of his appointment, he had gotten a particularly thorough combing. For all the good it did me. In the exam room, he reluctantly emerged from the carrier not only spiky with indignation, as I'd expected, but also so covered with new stress-dandruff that he looked like he'd gotten in a fight with a salt shaker.

What made me even more indignant than him was the fact that apparently there's a spot on his back that he can't reach because of his own size, and even with my combing it's getting a little oily. I told Dr. M. about the daily combings, but she strongly recommended a new comb, called the "Furminator."

So I got home with the cat, and the new comb ($33, which is several times more than I've ever spent on a comb for myself, and remind me to tell you that story some time), and went to work.

My God, it was like bringing forth a new cat.

His old comb was pretty fine-toothed, enough so that a Monday combing could produce a glob of loose fir the size of a guinea pig. But the "Furminator" doesn't have teeth at all; just a serrated edge that you drag along the cat's coat and behold the horror, until you are engulfed. I've used it a few times, hoping that once we get into the habit, there wouldn't be as much to take off, but every time we get to work, I'm surrounded by thick wisps of fur floating around me like some kind of feline Ghostbusters. The "Furminator" even removes giant clumps from short-haired Phantom, who is all but impervious to the old comb.

I had Trash try it on herself, but she stopped when she started to fear baldness, and with good reason.

And then, after every session, I have to vacuum myself off. I'm not at all sure this is a good thing. Unless of course, they each lose three pounds in Furminated hair, which at this point seems well within the realm of possibility.

posted by M. Giant 9:25 PM 4 comments


I love the Furminator! I had to go back to our pet store twice because they kept running out. Unlike you, we rarely brush the dog but now that summer is knocking on the door, tumbleweeds of fur are starting to blow. I'll remind the hubby to brush the dog tonight. It takes 20 minutes and we end up coating the entire yard with fur. But what a difference!

By Blogger Stacey, at April 26, 2010 at 5:40 AM  

The Furminator is quite effective, but the whole static electricity factor makes me use it less often than I otherwise would.

By Anonymous Average Jane, at April 26, 2010 at 7:04 AM  

My husband and kids use the Furminator on our (enormous) cat and then put little paper eyes and a mouth on the fur pile, making a mini-cat. It's . . . slightly disturbing. But funny.

By Blogger Leigh, at April 26, 2010 at 11:53 AM  

I work for a vet that sells Furminators, and whenever people balk at the price, I just run one across our clinic cat's back, and they're sold. We do always tell people to brush their pets outside, unless they have industrial strength vacuum cleaners.

By Blogger Unknown, at April 27, 2010 at 8:09 AM  

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