M. Giant's
Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks

Wednesday, March 10, 2010  

Stick It

Most days this time of year, I wear a heavy hooded sweatshirt around the house. I like to keep the pockets free of trash and debris, because I don't like finding stuff in there when I stick my hands in. This is true of more things than just pockets, but let's keep on topic.

Right now, however, there are a pair of folded, spindled, and mutilated address label-sized stickers, which are stuck together but have become so fuzzy they'll never stick to anything else again without duct tape. Also they've been on the floor of a public bathroom.

I don't remember where we got them, but they feature animated Disney characters and read, "This Disney DVD's owner is The Alexander Family." It's the kind of thing that seems more useful at first glance than it actually is. First of all, do we put the labels on the DVD cases? Because the actual DVDs are the only things that ever leave the house, in their CD wallet. So I guess the label goes on the disk, but of course it can only go on the side with the label already on it.

And what's the actual benefit? It's not like there's any contact information included on the label. If a DVD escaped Toy Story style and were captured as little as one block away, the finder would read that label and think one of two things. One would be, And what am I expected to do with that bit of data?, and the other would be, Not any more, it doesn't.

I suppose it might come in useful if you're on a plane, and one of the disks slips out the CD wallet or the player while switching movies, and it goes rolling up the aisle under the seats. When it fetches up, a flight attendant can hold it up looking for the Alexander family, and hopefully you can retrieve it before an Air Marshal confiscates it on the suspicion that it's a CD-ROM full of national secrets. Or if a kid brings it to a sleepover, it can scotch all those endless arguments about who brought which movie.

But even that has limitations. What if you stick one of these labels on a movie from DreamWorks or Paramount or Sony Animation or that store downtown with the blacked-out windows? If the finder can see that it's not a Disney DVD despite what the stick-on label may claim, it calls all the rest of the information printed on there into question. Except maybe in the case of that last example, when you might actually want it to.

So why, do you ask, am I carrying these around all day in a pocket I normally consider my own personal, portable clean room?

While eating breakfast on the third day of Trash's trip to Florida, M. Edium pulled one of these labels off the sheet, carried it over, and stuck it on my arm.

"That's your reward for spending time with me," he said. Of course I told him that spending time with him was its own reward. And then he brought me another one to stick on my t-shirt, since the one on my hoodie wasn't sticking, and said, That's for spending so much time with me." He also moved that one to my t-shirt. I wore them both for the rest of the morning and lunch, when they fell off in the men's room and I stuck them in my pocket.

Now, I ask you, would you want to get rid of those stickers?

posted by M. Giant 4:45 PM 0 comments


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