M. Giant's
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Sunday, December 20, 2009  

Passing By

Years ago one weekend morning, my friend Bitter was bicycling to work. This was when she was working at a downtown pub and living in a downtown-adjacent apartment, so riding her bike was customary. Plus downtown is dead on Saturday mornings, so there's really no traffic anyway. Except on this morning, when she was waiting at a traffic light and there was a white minivan with tinted windows pulled up next to her. The passenger-side window rolled down, and from inside she heard a creepy voice calling out, "Hey, pretty lady!"

If she'd had time to think about it, she probably wouldn't have looked over. She didn't know anybody who drove a white van, and even if she did, who would be creepy enough to do that?

It was me, of course.

I'd borrowed my dad's van to help my other friend Lawre move that same morning, and we had just finished up. Passing Bitter on the street a few minutes later was just an unexpected coincidence, but it was one I couldn't pass up. In fact, I was so pleased with myself I completely forgot to offer to throw her bike in the back of the van and drive her the rest of the way to school.

Ever since then, I've never passed up a chance to do the same thing, whether she's come over for a walk with Trash, or whether it's just Trash, or whether it's someone I don't even know.

Kidding on that last one.

But more recently, when I caught up to them on the way to a neighborhood restaurant, Trash saw me coming and shook her head warningly at me. I guess it was because they had M Edium with them and they didn't want me modeling inappropriate behavior or something. Like that's ever stopped me before.

But I behaved. This time, I pulled up next to them, rolled down my window, and called out in a creepy voice, "Hey, little boy!"

He didn't mind at all, but Trash and Bitter both seemed to have some objections that I really didn't understand. I think they're just uptight.

posted by M. Giant 5:33 PM 0 comments

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