M. Giant's
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Tuesday, December 15, 2009  

Our Twentieth First Christmas

Trash and I aren't exactly the most astute trend-watchers, but one trend we have been aware of is the rise and fall in popularity of "Our First Christmas" tree ornaments. You know, the ones that say "Our First Christmas" on them along with the year. And the reason we know this is because every year, we go out and buy ourselves one.

They've been easier to find some years than others. One year we couldn't get one at all, and had to have "Our First Christmas" painted on a glass ball. Other years, it's impossible to find one with the year on it. So I drew it on, in ballpoint pen, and it's mostly stayed on. Since 1992, in fact. Some years, other people in the family get them for us, from Trash's mom to M. Edium's birth-grandfather. But the worst years are the ones where only nice, tasteful ones are available, because we prefer to collect the tackiest Our First Christmas ornaments possible.

So this year, we left nothing to chance. In honor of our twentieth first Christmas, Trash got online and ordered a personalized Our First Christmas ornament, the kind where you fill in the fields and they print or paint it on the item before shipping it out to you. This is the first one we've gotten with our names on it. Intentionally misspelled, naturally. We'll always treasure that one especially.

Of course we don't want to leave M. Edium out of this, so he's gotten a "Baby's First Christmas" ornament every year since he was M. Tiny. Now he's got six of them. And his latest one is personalized just like ours, from the same online retailer.

Not that it went entirely smoothly. One evening last week, I got a phone call. From that online retailer. She wanted to confirm some of the information Trash had filled in.

The name was correct, of course, but another bit of data had somehow gotten flagged. Specifically his weight.

"Baby's not really 42 pounds, is he!?" the woman asked me with concern.

Well, Baby is now. An Baby could probably tell her the entire plot of The Empire Strikes Back if she has time.

I explained that this was an old family joke, and that he's been getting a Baby's First Christmas ornament every year. I didn't take up her time explaining about the ornaments Trash and I get, or our plan to keep getting them for M. Edium until he's old enough to get the joke (which is where he pretty much is now), continuing through the stage where he's embarrassed by it (the later he hits that phase, the happier he'll be) and on through the period where it's just one more stupid thing his parents do (like make sarcastic comments at the TV screen and kiss each other), until finally we're long gone and he's buying his own at age 83 and having them personalized with the name "M. Oldy."

Still, the lady on the phone was deeply relived. "We were all thinking, 'that poor woman!'" she said.

But sure enough, both of our ornaments arrived a few days later, and were given pride of place on the tree. God bless us, every one.

posted by M. Giant 7:17 PM 6 comments

6 Comments:

That is the coolest tradition ever!

and happy 20th First Christmas!

By Blogger My name is Andy., at December 16, 2009 at 4:58 AM  

Aw! That's adorable and awesome!

Would it be too much to ask to see some photos?

By Blogger Life in Pennies, at December 16, 2009 at 6:58 AM  

Ha, "M.Oldy." I just laughed out loud.

By Blogger dancing_lemur, at December 16, 2009 at 8:59 AM  

You guys are the coolest, and the dorkiest. Merry Christmas, M. family (it feels like Trash should have an M. name, too)

By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 16, 2009 at 1:46 PM  

Aww, I love a dorky tradition/ inside joke. And "M. Oldy" is genius! Many more Merry First Christmases to you all!

By Blogger Maria, at December 16, 2009 at 4:56 PM  

I agree with Life in Pennies, I would love to see pictures.

And M. Oldy is genius, indeed.

By Anonymous Erin, at December 16, 2009 at 6:49 PM  

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