M. Giant's
Velcrometer Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
Gerd Heavens
I didn't have an Internet pseudonym for Chao's girlfriend Karin when they first moved up here. It was damned inconvenient, because we were hanging out with them a lot and you just can't force an Internet pseudonym. Try it and you end up with what I called Chao's former girlfriend, "Disqueen." Chao would probably deny it, but I suspect that was a major factor in the end of the relationship.
Fortunately, like so many seemingly intractable problems, this one solved itself. One time Karin was hanging out with Trash in our basement. She asked Trash to recommend a good OB in town, since they were living up here now, and Trash was happy to refer Karin to her own. Karin's only question was, "Will she take care of my gerd?"
Trash was not aware of the term "gerd," but given that they were talking about OB/GYNs, she made the natural assumption. I mean, given how disrespectful some common names for lady bits can be, it's surprising more women don't make up their own. Which is what Trash thought Karin had done. And for what it's worth, I think Trash kept an admirably straight face about it. She simply said that yes, Karin's gerd would be in good hands.
"Even though she's an OB she'll still deal with the gerd?" Karin pressed.
Trash assured her that she would.
"Because some OBs don't deal with the gerd."
Finally Trash asked, "Okay, what do you mean by your 'gerd?'"
Karin meant "gastro-esophagal reflux disorder." GERD for short.
There was much hilarity over the misunderstanding. I think Trash wanted to co-opt the word "gerd" for her own purposes, but I co-opted them for mine instead.
Anyway, today would have been Gerd's 29th birthday. Yes, she was born the day John Lennon died. We miss her more than we miss John Lennon.
Thanks for making me cry - both in laughter from remembering that story (and the night we took that photo you posted) and because I still miss her terribly. Damn you and your way with words...
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Hi, I'm M. Giant. I'm here because while there's no shortage of people hurling their least
significant thoughts and feelings up on the Internet, none of those people are me. I'm
here because I've got nothing to say, and by God I'm going to say it.
My goal with this blog is to spend time writing something, anything, rather than just sitting around
slackjawed. I hope to hone my writing skills, build a small but loyal following, then a slightly larger
and more fiercely loyal following, ultimately culminating in the destruction of my enemies and total world
domination.
Feel free to e-mail me if you like, but only if you don't mind that anything you say is likely to end up on the site.
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You could steal from me, but you'd only be hurting yourself. Using
me as your instrument.
posted by M. Giant
1:23 PM
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