M. Giant's
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Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks


Monday, July 06, 2009  

Scary Birthday

Trash's idea for M. Edium's birthday this year is a Halloween theme. She's talking about converting the garage into a haunted house and putting all the adults we know to work as scary characters. Not surprisingly, M. Edium absolutely loves this idea. He's all about the Halloween theme. Oh, except that he wants his cake to be shaped like the starship Enterprise, because suddenly he is a huge Star Trek fan on account of I gave him the "beam-up badge" that came in my box of Corn Pops. But other than that, he's all over the Halloween theme.

Which is good, because I think his fifth birthday is just about the last one that can be co-celebrated with another holiday without engendering resentment. I mean, my parents never did that, despite my birthday and DeBitch the Elder's both being so close to Christmas, but Trash has told me that her mom used to do that all the time. Albeit with lesser holidays. Trash's sister had her birthday on Columbus Day, and her brother's was on Veteran's Day, so those were built-in themes. Trash, however, was stuck with a birthday that didn't coincide with a holiday, so one year her mom found out that she shared a birthday with Ed Asner, and went from there.

In fact, let's you and I go from there for a minute, shall we? Let's just imagine how a tween girl in the early 1980s would thrill to such games as "Pin The Tail On Lou Grant," or the joy she would experience at finishing a slice of Ed Asner birthday cake, to see the doughy visage of the president of the Screen Actors' Guild glowering up at her. It would be a magical day in any young girl's life.

After that year, she didn't mind not having a theme for her birthday parties.

But back to M. Edium's birthday, which is looming a scant three-and-a-half months from now. He and Trash have been talking about this all week, which I hope doesn't mean that he's going to decide that he wants a Transformers party ten minutes before the guests start arriving.

Trash is vision for the haunted garage is a sort of maze of damp, hanging sheets, colored lighting, a creepy sound-effects tape, a few adults in costume, and bowls of stuff like noodles and peeled grapes the kids will have to put their hands in and be told they're worms or eyes or brains or whatever. She's asking me to throw it out to you for other ideas.

I've offered to help, but my only experience with this kind of homemade haunted house is when I was like six and some of my older sisters' friends threw one of those MDA carnivals that were so popular for a while in the 70s (and apparently they still happen. Between those and the telethons, how does MD still exist, for God's sake?). I was the last of the younger kids to get to go through without a blindfold on, I think because I wasn't scared enough. Oddly, my memory of that experience is not as helpful to Trash as I might have expected.

I also suggested just leaving the garage in its current state of near-fatal disarray and making kids walk through it barefoot, but these are more litigious times.

In any case, I'm totally stocking up on Up party merch for Trash's birthday this year. I think she'll really appreciate that nostalgic call-back to the Ed Asner parties of her childhood.

posted by M. Giant 8:54 PM 6 comments

6 Comments:

Time to buy him the first season of Trek: TOS on DVD! :)

By Blogger Deanna, at July 7, 2009 at 8:42 AM  

The advanced birthday planning of the pre-K set is truly amazing. My 4 year old is actively planning her 5th birthday party - for next February - and has been planning it since about 2 days after her 4th party. At one point she wanted a "secret agent party" for some reason, but that changes every few weeks.

By Anonymous lg, at July 7, 2009 at 10:04 AM  

The thing I most remember from my single childhood foray into the homegrown haunted house is the dolls' heads set on pikes (or rake handles or something) at various intervals around the garage. IIRC, they were decorated with drippy fake blood.

These heads are single-handedly(even without hands)responsible for it being the last haunted house I ever walked.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at July 7, 2009 at 12:22 PM  

My b-day is Oct 28, so for several years as a kid, we did the Halloween-themed party. Everyone dressed up, of course, and we did things similar to what you described. Another winner: dry ice in the punch bowl (which I recall had some sort of green drink).

One year our Halloween-fanatic neighbor donned full monster costume (including feet!) and crept across the street. By the time he reached the window, 10 screaming girls were under the dining room table. Good time.

By Blogger dancing_lemur, at July 8, 2009 at 9:39 AM  

It's too bad the Internet wasn't around back then, or Trash's mom could have thrown her a Sherman Burning Atlanta barbecue, or a Georgia O'Keefe garden party.

By Anonymous Leslie, at July 9, 2009 at 10:11 PM  

Despite sharing a birthday with George Washington and Drew Barrymore, I never had a presidential or ET themed birthday party growing up. I've recently found that I also share a birthday with James Blunt. This is a scary direction to keep traveling in.

By Blogger Emily, at July 21, 2009 at 8:31 AM  

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