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Wednesday, June 24, 2009  

Scream Queen

Trash's almost total deafness in her left ear can sometimes be a challenge to live with, and sometimes it can be fun. I'm completely used to being on her right side when we take a walk, for instance. She can't talk to me in the car with her window open if I'm driving. Whether or not she hears M. Edium if he wakes up in the middle of the night is largely dependent upon which ear she's sleeping on. She can't always tell where noises are coming from. And best of all, sometimes it's really hard not to sneak up on her and scare the crap out of her.

And it's funny, because she's a screamer.

It happens surprisingly often. The other night, I was coming home from a late movie. She was upstairs on our bed. I assumed that she would have heard me park in the driveway, let myself in the back door, come up the stairs, use the bathroom next door, kick my wooden clogs off all the way down the length of the hallway, something. And yet when I presented myself in the bedroom doorway, she screamed as though I were a marauding yeti. Which, okay, I only shave once or twice a month these days, but still. At least she remembered that M. Edium was asleep down the hall, and was able to suppress the scream -- by burying her face in her pillow while it ran its course.

"Why didn't you just stop screaming?" I asked. She said she couldn't. She'd already started. I guess it's like peeing.

Just three days before that, she let out another howl when she was about to go into our house through the back door and encountered Chao coming out. That one's a little more understandable, because he hadn't previously been there (although we were expecting him) and he's a good deal more yeti-like than I am at first glance.

But the best one was a few days before that, when she had just finished checking on a sleeping M. Edium. She thought I was downstairs, but I wanted to check in too. And when she turned from his bed and saw my hulking silhouette in the doorway to his room, she couldn't help letting out a scream. Except she didn't want to wake up the kid, so instead of releasing one of her ululating yells, like, "AAAAAAHHH!!" she just said, "aaaaaahhaaha." I shit you not. Funny, with the bonus that she succeeded in not waking up the kid. She couldn't repoduce that sound now if she tried, and she has. When we were telling Chao this story (after she'd calmed down, of course), M. Edium loved it so much that he wanted mommy to put him to bed that night. And for daddy to scare her again.

But all this stress can't be good for her. I'm thinking maybe I should get myself a collar with a bell or something. At least the right side of one.

posted by M. Giant 7:37 PM 2 comments

2 Comments:

Hee!! I have the same problem Trash does. In fact, your entire first paragraph sounds like our house. When Thunder walks into the house and can hear me in the kitchen, he begins yelling, "Tempest, I'm home now. Tempest, it's me..." Over and over as he approaches. I often don't hear him before I see him. And if I already have a knife in my hand, my screaming and lunging take on an extra element of adventure. On the plus side, he is beginning to learn some American Sign Language to communicate with me in crowds or large venues.

By Anonymous Tempest, at June 24, 2009 at 8:00 PM  

I am completely deaf in my right ear, and don't wear my hearing aid around the house much of the time. Shortly after we moved in together, my boyfriend decided to try to scare me by sneaking up on my right side; unfortunately for him, I'm not a screamer--I'm a smacker. I (out of panic-induced instinct) walloped him right in the stomach and he hasn't scared me since!

By Anonymous Gina, at June 25, 2009 at 5:44 AM  

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