M. Giant's
Velcrometer
Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks


Sunday, August 31, 2008  

Passing on the Right

We were visiting Trash's mom in Iowa this weekend, and on the way back home the weirdest thing happened. We stopped for snacks about ninety minutes from home, and when we got on the road at 3:30, suddenly everyone wanted to pass me. And I mean, it's not like I was going the speed limit, but I-35 seemed to be packed with people wanting to go 95 miles per hour.

Trash noticed it too. "And it seems to be about you specifically," she said. If I was in the right lane, people would zoom past me and then cut right in front of me before I even heard their sonic boom. If I was in the passing lane, people would charge up behind me and then go to the right, as though the slower-moving car I was passing was less annoying than I was. More than one car even slowed down for a while and then let me pass them so they could pass me again.

I asked Trash, "Did you, like, throw up on your back bumper or something? Because it's like there's something back there that everyone wants to rush to get a closer look at, but then they get up here and they're like, 'oh, hell no, I'm not following that.'" Trash denied anything of the sort, and the back of the car would indeed turn out to be clear once we got home.

Then I speculated, "Maybe the coolest stuff is happening in Minneapolis right at 5:00 and they don't want to miss any of it." Trash then reminded me about that RNC thingy that's happening in St. Paul this very week. How could I forget, after the lengthy caravan of giant motor coaches we had seen heading north the previous day, trailing a massive blue cloud of diesel emissions, cigar smoke, and contempt?

However many years ago we found out that our metro area would be hosting the RNC, we vowed to get out of town that weekend. Not that this is anything specifically against Republicans, mind you. We would have had the same reaction had the Democrats wanted to come, or the Olympics. We felt the same way about the Super Bowl, and the national AA thing, and the Edina Art Fair that happens a few blocks from our house the first weekend of every May. We're always like, "Head for the hills!" in advance, but then later it turns out that not leaving the house at all works just as well. And yet here we were, heading back into town for what's going on this week.

And really, if they were Republicans on the road with us, I really did try hard not to read too much into their "I'm hell-bent on doing whatever it takes to get ahead at the cost of everyone else and if you don't like it go ahead and kill yourself trying to stop me" driving style, but it was kind of a challenge.

Anyway, now we're just crossing our fingers over what's about to hit the Gulf Coast. See you on the other side.

posted by M. Giant 8:46 PM 2 comments

2 Comments:

Ha! I love the title of this post.

By Anonymous Katie L., at September 1, 2008 at 1:45 PM  

heh - you are so clever. I read you all the time, but have never left a comment.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at September 2, 2008 at 11:09 AM  

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