Velcrometer
Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks
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M. Giant's Velcrometer Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks |
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Thursday, July 24, 2008 Book Stalking I finally saw my book on the shelf at a Barnes & Noble where I wasn't speaking. It was last weekend, when Trash and I were taking M. Edium to Nickelodeon Universe at the Mall of America. (That wasn't the nightmare I expected it to be. Although there's a little celebrity greeting area where kids can meet the "stars" of various Nickelodeon shows. We happened to be passing by during an appearance by "Dora the Explorer," actually an intern in a full-body costume. Let me tell you, there's nothing creepier than the spectacle of a furry, six-foot-tall six-year-old, silently alternating between turning around so little visitors can kiss Backpack and Map and tugging down the hem of her too-small pink t-shirt to try and discreetly hide the strip of brownish pelt peeking over her orange shorts. All three of us were completely transfixed, although for different reasons.) Anyway, later we went over to the Barnes & Noble, where I wandered hopefully among the front tables for a couple of minutes until Trash told me, "Just ask someone." So I did, not saying who I was. The guy behind the counter looked it up and found it, and either their computers pull up an image of the cover or his memory did, because he knew it had a picture of a potato on a couch. The potato book. He led me over to where he'd shelved it, in Film/TV/Radio. It had the cover facing out instead of the spine. I know you're supposed to have this huge frisson when you first see your book in a bookstore, but I started the first draft like a year and a half ago. It kind of spoils the surprise. So I told the guy I was the author, and offered to sign their stock -- all five copies. He was happy to let me do so, and dug out a Sharpie and a roll of those stickers that say "Autographed Copy." You know what he didn't do? Ask me for any ID. I must have looked unkempt enough to be a real author. I was thinking about that later on, and how easy it would be to sign other people's books if you wanted. But then I remembered Sean Connery's line to Kevin Costner in The Untouchables: "Who'd claim to be that that wasn't?" I mentioned this to Trash. "Sean Connery died horribly in that movie, didn't he?" I think she was just bitter that I'd ruined her freshly-made plans to go back and sign a bunch of books by her current favorite author, what's-her-name. By the way, it looks like I'm going to be on local TV again in the next couple of weeks. I'll let you know when I have the details. Also, I'm thinking about having a book signing or two when I'm in L.A. next Monday. There won't be a reading, or a Q&A, or even a specific time. In fact I think it'll be more like the scene I just described above. posted by M. Giant 2:30 PM 4 comments 4 Comments:
No, no, no... NOT Los Angeles, you mean "Upstate New York" don't you?
By Ack, didn't proofread, left off a ) there. Please mentally insert it after "Built-in fanbase!" when you read the above. Thanks.
By Hey, do you want me to go into the B&N up here in Anchorage and sign some for you? :) I'm guessing you won't get up this way anytime soon. Heh!
By I sent you my book to sign, but without an explanatory note. Hopefully, you'll remember who I am and what you're supposed to do, and not wonder who was so displeased with your book that they sent it back for a personal refund.
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