M. Giant's
Velcrometer
Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks


Monday, March 24, 2008  

Roll Credits

M. Small went to his third movie in the theater this weekend, and he actually made it to the end of one for the first time. He was really good and attentive and quiet and, most importantly, stationary. He did ask a few questions in full voice, but since this was a Saturday afternoon kids' movie, he was far from the only one. I wasn't going to try and hold him to the standards of behavior expected in a subtitled foreign film at our local art house. That's next week.

I also told him that if he wanted to go home at any point, he just needed to tell me. But he didn't. In fact, I think he could have gone longer. "Why did it stop?" he asked when the credits rolled. During Ratatouille, we were the first ones out of the theater. After Horton, we were the last. I let him lead me up the stairs to the back of the auditorium, thinking he wanted a better look at the projection window. Then we got there, and he was like, "How do we get out of here?" He thought I'd gotten us lost. Thanks for the faith.

But his favorite part of Horton Hears a Who was the trailer for WALL-E, the Pixar movie that's coming out this summer. I think he's been looking forward to seeing that since the first WALL-E trailer he saw before Ratatouille, almost a quarter of his life ago The first thing he clapped eyes on in the theater lobby was the giant WALL-E banner hanging from the mezzanine, and he simply did not want to unclap them, even to go into the movie. So you can imagine the effect the trailer had on him.

"How was the movie?" Trash asked him when we got home.

M. Small summarized, "WALL-E's an old robot and there was a white robot flying around and WALL-E wants to be friends but was shy so he hid behind a rock and he made a noise and the white robot sprayed the rock and WALL-E was shy because he never met a robot before and he was pressing the button to make the rocket go and he made it go reallyfast."

"What did you guys see again?" Trash asked me.

I was reminded of the first time I saw The Matrix, preceded by the Phantom Menace trailer, which overshadowed the feature for me as well. This is cool but the Star Wars movie is going to be even cooler! I kept thinking. God, what an idiot I was. Don't let my kid down, Pixar.

* * *

As happy as I am with my neti pot, is it possible for one's sinuses to be too clear? I ask because on the way home from Easter at my parents' last night, I suddenly found myself having a full-on sneezing fit a few blocks from our house. Feeling betrayed by my neti pot, I wondered just what the hell was going on here that had caused my allergies to come roaring back like that without warning, hours after I'd last seen the cats.

I got home, rushed inside, and blew my nose. Some morbid impulse caused me to look into the Kleenex afterwards, where I found a fragment of crust from my mom's pecan pie about the size of my pinky nail.

Now, to be fair, I bite my nails so it wasn't that big, but whoa. That never happened before.

I should add, as a compliment to my mom, that the crust was much flakier and tastier the first time.

posted by M. Giant 8:48 PM 9 comments

9 Comments:

I feel your pie crust pain. I snarfed some pepperoni into my sinuses somehow last week, and it was the worst coughing and sneezing fit I've had in my life.

Also the pepper. Oh GOD the pepper.

By Blogger Unknown, at March 25, 2008 at 7:48 AM  

Dude, you should always look at the tissue. And the toilet. The random disgusting stuff that comes out of the human body gives all kinds of insight into what the heck is going on in there.

"Is it possible for one's sinuses to be too clear?"

In a word? YES. For instance, if food climbs up the back and comes out your nose, you know the trip is too easy to make.

I'm not one to pooh-pooh the alternative modalities. One of my letters of rec was written by an MD who is also a Shaman, fer godsakes. One of my instructors is a PA who's also a licensed Acupuncturist. But yeah, just because it's not made by Abbott or Merck doesn't mean it's categorically good and healthy.

I love how people always go on about how wonderful, "natural," and in tune with the rhythms of nature stuff is, and totally overlook the real meaning of balance in the body. A Neti pot, for example, has potential to cause a serious change to your inner environment, at least in terms of your nose-vault. And it sounds like that's what you experienced.

And what's more natural than your own secretions, right? If one assumes that mucus is ICKY and GROSS and must be an indication that your humours are out of balance and your Chi is sideways, then I guess it makes perfect sense to go in and rob the snot-producing cells that line your sinuses of their entire reason for being.

But if you consider that a gentle, constant downward flow is exactly what keeps pie crust from moving north on every other day of your life, then hopefully you look for some kind of middle ground. It's totally possible to have too much of something, but that doesn't mean the correct amount is "none."

I'd recommend dialing back the Neti, just a little. If it's daily now, try every other day. Give it a week or two for things to balance out, and see how that works for you. If you're plugging up and have to go back to daily, then you can make an informed decision about how much food up the nose is acceptable to you.

By Blogger Febrifuge, at March 25, 2008 at 12:31 PM  

Our local movie theater has a 3D WALL-E outside. It's driving my kids nuts. Plus I made the mistake of showing them some WALL-E trailers on YouTube and now that's all they want to see.

AS you say, Pixar better not let us down...

By Blogger Andy Jukes, at March 25, 2008 at 2:30 PM  

Okay, I don't care about the blog anymore; I just want to listen to Feb talk about how to keep my Chi from going sideways by maintaining an adequate supply of snot.

By Blogger Linda, at March 25, 2008 at 4:30 PM  

As a short-term measure, just periodically tilt your head a little sideways, like a dog that just heard the word "bacon."

That'll get a good 35% of your Chi back within one meridian of your sacro-iliac axis.

By Blogger Febrifuge, at March 25, 2008 at 9:12 PM  

You should start recording your son doing movie reviews and/or descriptions. Now I want to see WALL-E when it comes out.

I also noticed a lack of punctuation in his summary; I'm guessing this was all in one breath. Awesome.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at March 26, 2008 at 6:43 AM  

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

By Blogger Unknown, at March 27, 2008 at 4:07 AM  

I found this blog on March 3, and obsessively read all of the archives...this is something I do when I find a new blog.
I'm now caught up, on March 28. Thanks for the handy distraction from work!

By Blogger Kris the Girl, at March 28, 2008 at 11:55 AM  

My friend once sneezed out a chunk of pepperoni (or some sort of ham... we couldn't figure it out at the time) and she was freaking out. I do believe we had to convince her it wasn't part of her brain and she wasn't about to die.

I got a neti pot after your recommendation and really like it. I do it twice a day and still sneeze a few times, although nowhere near as much as I was before.

By Blogger Unknown, at April 2, 2008 at 4:55 PM  

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