M. Giant's
Velcrometer
Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks


Sunday, February 03, 2008  

El Burrito

I've always assumed that 30 Rock was greatly exaggerated in terms of how absurd it can really be to work for a subsidiary of the Sheinhardt Wig Company. But then I got my 1099 form in the mail the other day.

I know I didn't get someone else's form, because the address and the Social Security number on it were both correct. The amount on the form was off by a considerable amount, which was not entirely surprising. But the name was off by even more. Apparently the media empire has been laboring under the misconception that my name is in fact "El Burrito."

Trash called me at work yesterday to tell me about it, but it wasn't entirely real to me until I got home and saw it for myself. And as much as I'd love to claim to the IRS that "El Burrito" is one of my aliases, it seemed safer to call about getting a new 1099 generated.

Trash was the one who actually made the call, and she quickly found herself on the line with an outsourcing facility somewhere in India. And the guy tried to help, but from what Trash told me about the conversation afterwards, he didn't really seem to appreciate the seriousness of the situation. Or, more accurately, the silliness of it.

He decided to start by addressing the incorrect total first. "What should the amount be, Mrs. Burrito?" he asked politely.

Trash kind of had to explain that no, in fact, there was nobody named "Burrito" in the household. Apparently burritos are not a common food item in India, so he wasn't aware of how it sounded until she kindly explained to him how it would sound if someone addressed him by the name of a menu item. "It's like if someone thought your name was Mr. Satay."

"My name is Mr. Satay," he answered.

"Okay, then, if your name was Mr. Curry," Trash floundered. After that she ended up on hold for several minutes. Apparently he resented the comparison to one of my fellow Sheinhardt Wig Company employees, the one on the Today show named Ann. He may not know what a burrito is, but he knows enough not to appreciate that.

So I don't really know what happens next. All I know is that I appear to have a new nickname.

posted by M. Giant 6:28 PM 13 comments

13 Comments:

el burrito grande.

By Anonymous brid, at February 3, 2008 at 7:32 PM  

Welcome to my life. :)

By Blogger Glark, at February 3, 2008 at 9:22 PM  

see, when you mentioned that earlier i thought you were making some kind of weird joke i didn't get. i apologize for my density, mr. burrito.

By Blogger abchao, at February 3, 2008 at 10:23 PM  

It is a huge oversight that they're not using your full name, El Burrito Supremo.

By Blogger Omar, at February 4, 2008 at 6:07 AM  

Does that make M. Small = M. Taquito?

By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 4, 2008 at 11:09 AM  

And they said that whole Bravo takeover thing would be seamless . . .

Bravo El Burrito Grande!

By Blogger Bunny, at February 4, 2008 at 11:57 AM  

Can't stop laughing. The comments make it even better!

- JeniMull

By Anonymous Anonymous, at February 4, 2008 at 11:57 AM  

I would love to have an alias as interesting as El Burrito. I am particularly amused that it's not just the last name of "Burrito" with your correct first name but "El Burrito".

Oh wait, maybe your first name is "El" and the M. is just to throw us off... in which case I apologize for mocking your name, El Giant.

By Anonymous Shawna, at February 4, 2008 at 12:39 PM  

At least you GOT a 1099 - we're still waiting on ours.

I had one job where we were setting up new computers in order to test the user experience, and part of that was doing the registration process. We gave a phony name of John or Jane Doe for the registration.

Well, we kept one of these computers and later needed to call for tech support. My coworker called in, provided the serial number, and was treated to a customer service worker in India insisting, "You are Jane Doe?!!!"

Maybe you had to be there.

By Blogger Katherine, at February 4, 2008 at 4:57 PM  

I'll always know you don't have a racist bone in your body because your first instinct wasn't to say, "Hey, they sent me Omar's 1099 by accident!"

By Blogger Omar, at February 5, 2008 at 6:27 AM  

How come YOU always get the funny 1099 Forms? Dang.

By Anonymous cjschuette, at February 5, 2008 at 6:49 AM  

Omar - so I take it your 1099 didn't have your name as "Dat Dere Lutefisk"?

By Blogger M. Giant, at February 5, 2008 at 9:11 AM  

Now that I look more closely, it says, "OK Dere, Buddy, You Betcha!"

Is that even a NAME?!

By Blogger Omar, at February 5, 2008 at 6:37 PM  

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