M. Giant's
Velcrometer
Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks


Tuesday, October 16, 2007  

Mental Dental

Everyone hates a dentist appointment, right? It's always uncomfortable, and sometimes downright painful. And the options for pain reduction aren't so great either. You can have gas, which doesn't do anything except make the synthesizer intro from "Won't Get Fooled Again" echo in your ears, or you can have Novocaine, which hurts when they inject it and then either doesn't work or leaves you a drooling idiot for the next couple of hours.

Or, you could just have the dentist rub your boobs.

There are just so many unanswered questions in that linked story, aren't there? Okay, yes, he wasn't so much trying to get his more buxom patients through a root canal; he claimed that the "pectoral massage" was simply a treatment for TMJ. Anyone out there have access to the dental journal article that proposes that therapy?

Also, it doesn't say anything about whether he also applied the "pectoral massages" to his male patients with TMJ. Maybe he just forgot.

So why not give him the benefit of the doubt? As the story says, he "needs to keep seeing patients so he can feed his seven children and pay for his defense." And if he's being "supervised by two assistants" and "would no longer do the chest rubs," as the story also says, how could anyone object?

I certainly don't want to appear to be blaming the (27) victims here, but at least one of them seems to have given him the benefit of the doubt as well. I refer in particular to the 31-year-old woman who told police that the dentist felt her up six times in two years. Not that she tolerated all six occasions without taking steps.

Specifically, she started wearing tight shirts with high necklines, "and Anderson would still get in under her shirt and bra," says the police report.

Under her bra? Seems a leeeettle forward.

Without more information than that, who can tell whether any wrongdoing actually occurred? Its not like the police report includes a photo of her rack. But if she had noticed enough of a pattern that she was beginning to dress specifically for the appointments in a way designed to thwart Doctor Handsy, maybe it should have occurred to her to see if maybe another dental practitioner was available.

Two other questions I have: did he fondle the funbags before or after he started rooting around in the patient's mouth? And if it was before, does he still have all of his fingers?

I've never wanted to be a lawyer, but this is one case I wouldn't mind arguing.

posted by M. Giant 4:07 PM 7 comments

7 Comments:

A quick search of the medical and dental literature turns up...

Yeah. "TMJ" gets over 10,000 hits, and "TMJ Massage" gets a few, but nothing about the chesticles.

"TMJ massage pectoral" apparently gets you 10 to 25. Hey-yoooo!

By Blogger Febrifuge, at October 16, 2007 at 4:42 PM  

Cooincidentally, I also discovered that buying shoes doesn't require a full thigh massage in order to get a perfect fit, either

By Blogger URBAN PEDESTRIAN, at October 17, 2007 at 6:09 AM  

OK several things went through my mind while reading this...first being I don't mind the dentist because my dentist ROCKS! He numbs the area of the novocaine injection first so I don't even feel it. Second, a massage is one thing, but if he HAD to massage the chestal area, wouldn't he recommend undressing rather than go under the clothing? Third, when I read he had seven kids, I just about lost it because MY awesome, non-massaging dentist has 7 kids! Finally, the woman who kept going back? I totally understand. Once you find a good dentist, it's hard to switch.

By Blogger Finding My New Normal, at October 17, 2007 at 8:21 AM  

Not to mention, this is next door to a major university town, which means you have a large number of young university students who may not report being skeeved out because they're anxious to be "adult enough" to handle any situation on their own.

By Blogger Elizabeth, at October 17, 2007 at 2:10 PM  

I don't see what the issue is. It's not like he's charging extra for the massage. [Insert Trash calling me a pig here]

By Anonymous Chao, at October 18, 2007 at 7:38 AM  

i will be the first to tell you that my dentist is a hottie, but good grief, i have to draw a line! having been in the health insurance industry for a lot of years i can honestly say i have never seen clinical evidence of chest massage being an accepted and effective treatment of tmj. didn't a chiropractor get arrested a few years back for doing something similar??? big eeewwwweeeeiiiieeee

By Anonymous blaine, at October 19, 2007 at 10:55 AM  

But that is how they clean teeth, right?

Yes, yes it is. IN PRISON!

By Blogger Fraulein N, at October 20, 2007 at 9:27 AM  

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