M. Giant's
Velcrometer
Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks


Monday, September 17, 2007  

Dude, how sad is this?

Anger management student arrested for assault.

The best part of this story -- aside from the obvious fact that the suspect in the photo looks like he's just waiting for an excuse to give you a well-deserved curbstomping, and he doesn't even need a very good one -- is how he smacked a guy with his anger management class materials.

One hopes that the people who develop the curriculum for anger management classes have already foreseen this eventuality, and equip students with a two-page handout and maybe a newsprint pamphlet (no staples!), as opposed to a hardcover textbook.

Plus you have to think this can't help his grade. After running away from the bus stop, he was probably late for class. In fact, he may not have made it to class at all after that. And even if he did, he would have been there without any of his stuff, echoing the recurring nightmare I can't seem to shake nearly 20 years after graduating from high school. Factor in the possibility that he had a written assignment due which he wouldn't be able to submit, and you have all the ingredients for a rather awkward student-teacher interaction. Oh, and plus he assaulted some people on the way there.

Maybe he thought that activities outside of class don't count against him, which, if they do, somebody should have made that clear. Could he have been the only anger-management pupil for whom anger-management class is only an hour or two of non-violence in an otherwise unbroken week of beatdowns? Surely not.

It looks like even the mug shot photographer was afraid that aiming the camera directly at him would be taken as a sign of aggression, and so he just sort of pointed it in the general direction and snapped the photo, probably surreptitiously.

I'd say more about this incident, but I'm kind of afraid that if I did he'd come and beat me up.

posted by M. Giant 8:38 PM 2 comments

2 Comments:

OMG, it's Andy from the American version of The Office!

Except not, because Andy graduated from Anger Management just like he did from Cornell: ON TIME.

By Blogger Katherine, at September 18, 2007 at 8:43 AM  

Judging by the look on his face, I gather his anger management class is taught by Mr. T.

What confuses me about the article is the information that this man was charged with a a fifth-degree felony. We've only got four degrees of felonies here in Texas (1st, 2nd, 3rd, and State Jail Felony), and I just can't fathom what the fifth degree is even for. Does it mean he doesn't have to go to jail at all? Or that he goes to a crappy jail instead of a nice one?

By Blogger Sleepless Mama, at September 21, 2007 at 10:40 AM  

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