M. Giant's
Velcrometer
Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks


Wednesday, April 04, 2007  

Inside Out

I have to sleep barefoot, no matter how cold it is. Sometimes I'll go to bed still shivering from a recent dash outside and leave my socks on, but even then they're off before I go to sleep. I don't know if it's because my feet get too warm or if it's a form of claustrophobia. I can really only ever sleep in a big t-shirt and floppy flannel pajama bottoms. I know this about myself.

And yet, it's nearly impossible to look at a toddler in his footie pajamas with anything other than envy.

M. Small would now like to show you a few of his favorite jam-jams. First up are his Elmo pajamas, which are a festive purple with red Elmos all over them, doing things that I don't care to examine too closely. Here they are, properly accessorized with a clean paintbrush and a half-eaten biscuit (we're lucky it's not the other way around):



Here's an eye-catching number with wide, bold stripes in red, white, and varying shades of blue. It's easily his most visible sleeping outfit, and I'm surprised it doesn't keep him up at night:



And here he is in what appears at first glance to be blue camouflage, but which on closer examination turns out to be a crazy pattern of overlapping human figures in various athletic poses, like an orgy at SportMart:



Noticing a pattern?

So did we, but it was a different pattern. It's been a while since he's reliably gone right to sleep when we put him down at bedtime. Most nights he's able to keep himself entertained in those last waking minutes with a running monologue of whatever's going through his head at any given moment. And sometimes the little commentaries that reached us over the baby monitor were a bit more external in nature:

"I'm still awake!"

"I took my jam-jams off!"

"I took my diaper off!"

"I got it all over!"

It wasn't so bad -- although slightly worry-making -- on nights when he would quietly strip to his diaper and we would find him fast asleep on his mattress with all the blankets on the floor, exposing himself to the elements. Less optimal were the nights when we would go in and find him hopping up and down in only his t-shirt next to a damp Rorschach blot on his sheet (and blankets, and half the stuffed animals) that couldn't possibly have come from his sippy cup. Changing his sheets every night quickly grew tiresome, as did the differing cleaning instructions on his stuffed caterpillar, stuffed hippo, stuffed Curious George, ad infinitum.

We thought about only putting him in PJs that snap at the neck, but he doesn't have many of those in his size any more. We were considering safety pins and, failing that, a padlock.

Fortunately, a friend of Trash who has a three-year-old came to visit a couple of weeks ago, and she had a simple yet elegant solution that had saved her sanity during this stage of her son's toddlerhood: put the pajamas on inside out. Then he can't get to the zipper, can't take them off, can't remove his diaper (or pull-up, as of late), and can't leave a warm, slippery puddle for us to step in when we enter his room to see how much air he's getting on his impatient vertical leaps. And it's working.

But do you think he's onto us?

posted by M. Giant 9:21 PM 10 comments

10 Comments:

Wow! From his pictures you can tell he is going to be tall. When I was around M. Small's age (or one day, M. Tall!), the doctor put me at ninety-fifth percentile for height. Many growth spurts later, I'm 5'11". Here's looking up at you, kid! --Lila

By Anonymous Anonymous, at April 4, 2007 at 10:34 PM  

Also entirely aside from the cute jammy pictures: I just said (verbatim) aloud to my husband, "I can't believe how big he is already" - as though we knew you all in real life. That sounds like a great solution to me - I was going to toss out "duct taping his diapers", in all my non-parental wisdom.

He has such...knowing eyes.

By Anonymous Maya, at April 4, 2007 at 11:50 PM  

And a third person who pulled up Velcrometer, looked at the pictures, and announced to her husband "Look how tall he is getting! He is going to be as tall as his daddy."

More on-topic: I think he might be ready for potty-training, based on the "I got it all over" message. Michelle

By Anonymous Anonymous, at April 5, 2007 at 6:02 AM  

You can also just try putting the diaper on backwards. Somebody gave me that advice, and it worked. He was potty-trained by the time he figured out how to take them off that way, anyway.

What a beautiful child he is!

By Blogger Nancy, at April 5, 2007 at 7:53 AM  

We did use duct tape on our son's diapers for a while. Thankfully, potty training came soon after...

By Anonymous Anonymous, at April 5, 2007 at 10:23 AM  

OK - the last picture is to.die.for. I am totally in love with your little boy.

By Anonymous D.J., at April 5, 2007 at 12:28 PM  

Is that one of the big green vanilla-scented Soothie pacis?

Why yes, I *am* a NICU nurse. And the fact that I could identify that sucker from here just proves I need a vacation...

By Anonymous elizabells, at April 5, 2007 at 8:31 PM  

I still sleep with my nightwear inside out, although it's so my princess-and-the-pea-like skin won't be irritated by seams and labels. Itchy!

By Anonymous Leslie, at April 6, 2007 at 12:28 AM  

ha! In that last photo, he looks just like a young Sinatra, saying hello to an admirer as he strolls into the Sands before the 10:30 show.

By Blogger Febrifuge, at April 6, 2007 at 10:35 AM  

You sure do have a clever boy. I never did think of turning a set of pajamas inside out.

His pacifier is very cute, but if you'd like to avoid the combined $3000 dental bills I'm paying for my children, please wean him off that sucker and any it-stays-in-my-bed sippy cups as soon as possible.

By Blogger Sleepless Mama, at April 11, 2007 at 5:47 PM  

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