Velcrometer
Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks
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M. Giant's Velcrometer Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks |
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Sunday, July 02, 2006 The "M." Stands for "Magazine." So, remember how I said I'd post a picture of M. Small's magazine cover when it came out? I'm not going to do that. Instead, I'm going to link you to the magazine's website. It's not only easier for me, it also serves as proof that we didn't just go to the photo place and have them dummy up one of those novelty magazine covers. Click here. I'll wait. Remember how I also said the art director had told us they had six or eight usable shots as opposed to the usual one or two from a shoot? I'm not really clear on what happens to the ones they didn't use, but as I told Trash, the solution is obvious: put him on the cover of every issue. Trash thought I was kidding. "I don't think they're going to put him on the cover of every issue," she said. "Why not?" I demanded. "They do with Oprah. Rosie. Martha Stewart. If Rosie can wave her bandaged-up staph-stump at me for the better part of a year, I can certainly put my adorable child on newsstands." "Those are their own magazines," Trash pointed out. "Fine. So he can start his own magazine, too. It'll have sections every month on things of interest to M. Small. There'll be a car section, and a truck section, and a bus section." Trash started getting into it. "Places to look for pacifiers that your parents can't reach or don't know about," she said. "This month in cookies." "Reviews of Dora the Explorer." "'Naps: Pro or Con?'" "'No, Oscar!' Showing your neighbor's dog who's boss." "And of course, the Letter from the Editor. 'Mommy! Daddy! Kitties! Uh-oh. Oh nooooo! Please? CAR! CAR! CAR! Milk, vacuuming, moon. Thank you!'" "I would buy this magazine every month." "Lots of people would. There's something for everyone. Whether you're into cars, buses, trucks, or even boats, M. Small Magazine is for you." "And planes. Don't forget planes." "And vacuum cleaners." "Oh, totally." "You still think I'm kidding, don't you?" She did, but by this point it was wishful thinking. posted by M. Giant 9:49 PM 7 comments 7 Comments:Lucky for M. Small I already enjoyed a juicy cheeseburger tonight.
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Oh.My.GOODNESS!
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Maybe it's because I don't have kids of my own, or maybe it's because I've read too much about serial killers, but all this stuff about Small being so cute people could eat him... I dunno.
By Adorable cover boy! Congratulations!
By What a great cover. Are you planning to have him model in the future? Think of the college fund or the vacation fund.
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"'No, Oscar!' Showing your neighbor's dog who's boss."
By If you're writing the copy for that magazine, I'm totally subscribing. Freaking hilarious.
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