M. Giant's
Velcrometer
Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks


Tuesday, June 20, 2006  

Cover Boy

A few weeks ago, Trash sent off a photo of M. Small to a photo contest for Adoptive Families magazine. The photo was this one:

Yes, God?


And yet somehow we didn't win.

What was nice, though, was that they called to tell us that we didn't win. And also that they wanted to put our son on the cover instead. Somehow we managed to contain our disappointment.

Since this magazine is based in New York, they had to send a local photographer over to our house for the shoot. We picked out some clothes (for M. Small; the photographer was already dressed) and made the short drive over to the Rose Garden to take some pictures.

It was a beautiful, sunny, warm day, perfect for outdoor photographs. The photographer asked us how M. Small likes having his picture taken. Apparently some kids hate cameras, and freak right out at the sight of one. Was M. Small one of those, the photographer wondered? If we'd had it handy, we would have simply showed him this:

Yeah, baby, yeah!


If he hadn't believed us, he would have been convinced the second we hit the grounds and he broke out his cameras. M. Small immediately went to work like a little pro, smelling the flowers for the camera, smiling over the flowers at the camera, holding out flowers to the camera, turning around and glancing coquettishly over his shoulder at the camera. He was in his element. Meanwhile, Trash and M. Small's birth mom and I trundled along behind the artist and his subject, schlepping his diaper bag and blanket and sun hat and snacks, just like the production assistants we'd somehow become.

I don't know if the photographer got anything useful during what I call the "ham" period of the search, or if M. Small looked too polished and poised and fake despite no coaching whatsoever. The photographer clearly worked with kids a lot, because even when M. Small was dashing from one M. Small-staged photo op to the next, the guy would snap his digital camera one-handed from the hip, two or three frames per second. Sometimes even from the knee, which means there could be any number of low-angle shots of our kid King Konging across the grass.

Performing became a lower priority, however, the instant he spotted the fountain. He ran right over, plunged his arms in up to the elbows, and went to work trying to destroy thousands of dollars of digital photography equipment by splashing at it. Fortunately the front of his overalls got a lot more soaked than the cameras did (immediately qualifying him for the cover of Entertainment Weekly instead), but the guy still switched to a telephoto lens for some shots from the far side of the fountain. He claimed it was in the interests of composition, but none of us were fooled. Even M. Small. Then we changed him, shot a few more of whatever the digital equivalent of "rolls" is, and that was a wrap.

We haven't seen any of the proofs yet, although the magazine's art director says there are half a dozen really good ones, as opposed to the one or two they normally get during a shoot. I told Trash, "You know, these guys must be so jaded about baby pictures by now. They're wading hip-deep in them, forty hours a week, like the guys at Playboy do with boobs. And you just know that they're all gathered around the monitor looking at pictures of our son and going, 'Awwww.'"

Maybe if you're nice I'll put up a picture of the cover when it comes out.

posted by M. Giant 7:26 PM 9 comments

9 Comments:

I think this warrants a name change: M. Superstar.

By Blogger Melinda, at June 21, 2006 at 5:56 AM  

If he starts throwing cell phones at you, you're going to need to have a serious discussion about diva-like behavior. ;-)

You'd BETTER post a pic of that cover!!!!!!!!!!!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at June 21, 2006 at 6:09 AM  

His birth mom is still a part of his life? Would love to have an entry on how that works out for you all. How lovely.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at June 21, 2006 at 6:24 AM  

Did we know that you have an open adoption? How wonderful, really. Do you get to see her often, or is it just once or twice a year? How do the bparent(s) feel about being mentioned in the blog? I would also love to hear about the relationship, but we understand if it makes anyone feel uncomfortable. Good for you guys.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at June 21, 2006 at 6:51 AM  

That? IS SO COOL. Well, it will be until he starts insisting that you separate his M&Ms by color. Then he'll start asking people to not make eye contact with him unless specifically granted permission to do so.

Go, M.Supermodel! Work it!

By Blogger Rachel, at June 21, 2006 at 7:14 AM  

Have you ever considered turning the story of M. Small into a book or article? It's such a magical story, I think that there would be a lot of people who would like to read it.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at June 21, 2006 at 7:23 AM  

Oh, the arm chub. *melts*

By Blogger Stephanie, at June 21, 2006 at 7:54 AM  

I wanna snorgle (tm CuteOverload) the arm chub too! M. Giant, would you mind if I chew on your child?

By Anonymous Anonymous, at June 21, 2006 at 3:19 PM  

Oh! He is too, too, too cute! First I was upset when I read that he didn't win the contest, but the cover is even better! I can't wait to see the pictures.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at June 22, 2006 at 6:36 AM  

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