Velcrometer
Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks
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M. Giant's Velcrometer Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks |
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Tuesday, December 13, 2005 Talking Points M. Small's vocabulary is growing, and it's growing very quickly. Yet it's not growing as quickly as the number of ideas he wants to convey in any given day. So a few words have to do double duty. Or in some cases, multiple duty. It's all about context. And maybe a little projection. So what follows, for my own reference as much as anything, is the official M. Small/English phrasebook, which may or may not be updated as necessary. Mama. Variations: Ma, Mom, Mamamamamama. "I am awake now; please come downstairs and take me out of my crib before it gets light outside." "I know you can hear me up there." "Hey, that's my mom!" "I love you, Mom." "Mom is my favorite." "Dad, you suck. Get out of my sight and let Mom do this." Dada. "That's my dad." "Put me down!" "Dad, you suck. Get out of my sight and let Mom do this." Uh-oh. "I have dropped, pushed, or rolled something out of my reach. No big deal. It's just that if I could reach it, I wouldn't be saying 'uh-oh,' because the item would be in my mouth." Baby. Variations: Babeee, beebee, beebebeebeebeebee. "Please read me my Baby Einstein book about babies. It is my favorite." "Please help me find my Baby Einstein book about babies. It is my favorite. Alas, it is also the smallest book in the world, and I like to carry it around with me. Be sure to look under all the furniture, in between the grown-up books, among the folds of my clothing, and in my mouth." "I am so AWESOME!" Baa. "I already know the cow says 'moo,' okay? Can we please move on?" Cow. Moo. "How about those Vikings?" Kah. "I see a car." "I hear a car." "I'm going in the car." "Can I have a car?" Tuk "I see a truck." (Yes, he's already differentiating between cars and trucks. He may grow up to be a gearhead. I don't know, sometimes these things skip a generation.) "Duck." (As in the bird, not "I'm about to throw a fistful of damp cereal in your face." I wish he'd learn that other meaning, though.) Cat "Any one of the several fuzzy, four-legged creatures around the house that I've just recently become smarter than." Bye. "It's time for me to go now." "Somebody just left." "I'll miss you." "I'm leaving, and I'll see you later." "Hey, where are you going?" "Please go away." "Why are you still here?" "Get out, already!" Go! See "Bye." I don't know why he needs two words for this. Generally, this is more urgent than the previous entry. BYEEE! See "Go." Hi. "I see you." "I love you." "Aren't I cute?" Cookie. "I am hungry." "I am full and ready for dessert." "I want to skip the sweet potatoes and peas and chicken and yogurt and skip right to the cookie." "Anything crunchy [may include anything from a Nilla Wafer™ to a graham cracker to a tasteless veggie puff thing]" "Anything edible." "I hear Dad rummaging around in the kitchen." "I have a cookie." "This is my cookie." "That is my cookie, too." "Thank you for the cookie." "I do not have a cookie." "I do not have enough cookies." "Maybe if I ask for a cookie cutely enough, I'll finally be allowed to jump off the changing table." Wawawawa gibbudjybah. Beats the hell out of me. I always hoped to raise a bilingual child, but I don't know where the hell the kid has picked up Huttese. As a writer, I confess to harboring a certain envy. I'll never again have this kind of economy with a phrase, which is too bad. These entries would get written a lot faster if I could just confine myself to subject matter like "Cat cookie uh-oh BYEEEEE." Probably save you a lot of time as well. Today's best search phrase: "Projectile fungi mulch." Just so we're clear, we've moved on to the search phrase part of the entry, and are no longer in the phrasebook portion. If M. Small starts saying this in the next few weeks, I'll be very worried. posted by M. Giant 9:42 PM 10 comments 10 Comments:Aw, M.Giant, M.Small is getting so big! Can he teach me Huttese? We have a seven month old, and I can't wait for the talking. Go Vikings! Moo!
By So my child speaks Huttese - that explains a lot. My partner and I have been trying to guess which language it is, since it can't possibly be English.
By He could be speaking Afrikaans. It sounds a lot like that. Either way, so unbearably cute!
By In the fifties, my mother chronicled the evolution of my vocabulary (and as a fourth child, I feel privileged). As a young adult, she shared it with me. Save this, back it up, and share it with your wee one when he is not so wee.
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Wow, I hope my kid's first words are "Projectile fungi mulch"!
By What the hell is Projectile fungi mulch and why on EARTH would someone want to search for it?
By Just be glad he's got the T in Tuk already. For the longest time my daughter called them fucks. Which was okay until she started differentiating between trucks... noisy fuck, big fuck, dumb fuck. Good times. The potential for public embarrasment grows exponentially with the vocabulary.
By I couldn't say my L's, so apparently I had a nasty habit of asking my father (very loudly) to "kiss me on the NIPS" in really appropriate locations, like the grocery store. Kids are awesome!
By M. Small reminds me of a young Hemingway.
By Just you wait until he starts talking about "cat poop," which is inevitable in a house with kitty litter. Please note, when he does discover it and how to say it, that's a good time to also introduce the following words: ew, yucky, gross, and stinky.
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