M. Giant's
Velcrometer
Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks


Wednesday, September 28, 2005  

This is a corner of the end table in our living room:



This is my son's head:



You can probably imagine what happens when one, in its precarious position atop two vertical feet of wobbling toddler, abruptly topples from its lofty position and comes into sharp contact with the other.

I don't have any pictures of that. Because instead of falling and clipping his skull on the corner shown above, he fell and clipped his skull on this one:



That's the corner with the rubber cushion on it. It's actually self-adhesive, but the adhesive only works if you don't have a curious baby who insists on taking apart everything he can reach. And if your toddler isn't one of those, you probably don't need the cushion anyway. Hence the yard of packing tape holding it in place.

The tape will probably also strip off a fair volume of the varnish under it when we decide to take it off. But since there's a good chance that we won't decide it's safe to leave the coffee table unguarded until he's seventeen or so, we have plenty of time to worry about that later.

And for the time being, it made the difference between M. Small crying for twenty seconds over his rubber-cushioned head-bump, and whatever would have happened if that sharp wooden corner had connected with his temple, which frankly I don't care to think about too much. I would have gotten you a picture of the scene after what actually happened, but by the time I got back with the camera he had forgotten all about it and was busy trying to remove the grate from the heating vent.

So if you have a toddler and pointy wooden furniture, hie thee to the baby store and get yourself some of these little cushions, if you haven't already. And some packing tape, too. Trust me, it's a big deal. How big?

Soooo big!

The childproofing isn't so much an accomplishment as an ongoing process. This week we got some stuff that Trash ordered over the Internet. Power-strip protectors, little plastic shells you use to wind up the venetian blind cords, and a switch lock to keep him from turning on the garbage disposal. And for everything we'll take down in a few years, there'll be something else going into place. Soon it'll be V-chips and Internet filters, then locks on the liquor cabinet and an alarm system for his bedroom windows. First, of course, we'll have to get a liquor cabinet. And probably also some more liquor.

It was a year ago last Thursday that we found out that he was going to be joining our family. Which of course means that his birthday's coming up in just a couple of weeks. Don't forget to send him a birthday e-mail: m.tinygiant@gmail.com. Thanks to everyone who's already sent thoughtful and kind messages, especially the former Treasury Secretary of Sudan. With all that's going on in your life right now, I had no idea you cared.

posted by M. Giant 10:05 PM 16 comments

16 Comments:

Where did you get the thingys for the blind cords? I could totally use those - to keep the cats from chewing them to pieces.

By Blogger Dawnie, at September 29, 2005 at 8:09 AM  

SOOOO BIIIGGGG!

He is simply too cute for words.

By Anonymous Erin, at September 29, 2005 at 9:32 AM  

I clocked my forehead on the non-rubberized corner of the coffee table when I was M.Small's age. I have a neat dent in my forehead, but I turned out okay.

By Anonymous LG, at September 29, 2005 at 12:42 PM  

My sister ran into a coffee table when she was three and has a cool scar across her eyebrow. It's not puckered or anything, there's just a line of no hair.

By Anonymous Ruby, at September 29, 2005 at 5:57 PM  

Love the "so big" picture - thanks for that!

By Blogger Nancy, at September 29, 2005 at 7:28 PM  

Oh my god. Thanks for giving me something new to worry about. It's a good thing your little guy's so unbelievably cute, or else I'd be angry right now. Heh.

By Blogger Doppelganger, at September 29, 2005 at 8:09 PM  

Oh gosh, but he's cuteness personified! He and my Lucas (17 months) would have a blast tearing the house apart together!

That binky clip makes it look like he has a work ID card! Does he have to slide it through the reader in order to get into the house?!

-Kat from Jersey

By Anonymous Anonymous, at September 30, 2005 at 11:20 AM  

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

By Blogger alena, at September 30, 2005 at 6:40 PM  

M Small is the cutest baby alive. My little cousin used to have a similar trick, but he'd hit the side of your leg instead (where he came up to at the time). Soooooooo big! is infinetely cooler. I may have to teach him.

Does he pull those books behind him out of the shelves, or was I the only child who found that amusing?

By Blogger Antipodean, at September 30, 2005 at 10:59 PM  

What a wonderful invention it is, this thing we call the Internet!

By Anonymous Anonymous, at October 1, 2005 at 3:39 PM  

I love the So Big! picture. And I'm glad your story had a happy ending, because that first picture freaked me out. ("Oh, no! He hit his head on the corner and cut it, I know it! Dammit, don't they know they're supposed to put a rubber cushion on every sharp corner in the house?")

Yes, you do know, as a matter of fact. Thank goodness.

By Anonymous Colleen, at October 2, 2005 at 5:53 AM  

My head connected with the corner of a table when I was three (unprotected corner, even) and after a few stitches, I turned out ok. Well, maybe that's a bad example..... ;-)

By Blogger Teslagrl, at October 3, 2005 at 6:47 AM  

I wanted to thank you for the pic of m small. He is getting so big. And cute. I am always looking for new pic. And i read every thing you put in here too
thank you

By Anonymous Anonymous, at October 3, 2005 at 7:34 PM  

It is impossible that he is so big! I can't believe he will be a year old - it seems only yesterday when he decided he couldn't wait to come live with you guys and showed up so early. Congrats on the happy family.

By Anonymous Jill, at October 3, 2005 at 8:45 PM  

Seriously? We've got those and when I saw the picture with all the tape, I almost woke the little fella with my laughing since ours have the very same tape holding them in place! Self-adhesive, my ass! They have worked wonders though, when they weren't pried off and immediately stuck into his mouth.

Hoping the little fella's birthday was a great one!

By Anonymous Melis, at October 23, 2005 at 8:36 PM  

I have dents in my head; however they are not from the corner of a coffeetable or a "dropping incident." They are from my feet when I was born. That's right, I was wrapped up in a little 5 pound ball, my feet planted on either side of the top of my head, causing a peanut shape to form. Of course the dents aren't as big as they used to be, but the internal brain damage is still apparent.

By Blogger Deanna Laine, at October 26, 2005 at 1:11 PM  

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