M. Giant's
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Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks


Thursday, July 28, 2005  

All Right, You Primitive Screwheads!

I've been lucky enough to have met some of my favorite writers. But alas, I have yet to meet any of my favorite movie stars. It just doesn't happen in Minnesota as often as it does in New York or L.A. Here in Flyoverland, you'd have to have some pretty freakish luck to, say, trepan a Keanu Reeves with a door or something. Let alone encounter an actor one actually admires.

That's why I was pretty amazed the other night when our friend Bitter called at 11:00 p.m. to tell us that Bruce Campbell was hanging out at The Local in Downtown Minneapolis.

Trash answered the phone call, and she relayed the message. "My Bruce Campbell?" I repeated.

I first saw The Evil Dead when I waaaay too young for it. No other movie had frightened me as much before or since, and now that I've watched it again as an adult and recognized it for the campfest it is, I'm reasonably sure that no other movie will ever scare me that much again.

I lost track of him for a while, until he turned up on Xena and Hercules, which was about the time I first saw Army of Darkness on video, at which point I had a new hero. Never mind the fact that the man has been seen in more crap than corn has; Bruce Campbell is the finest actor of the modern era. YOU GOT THAT?

I hated the first Spider-Man film; not just because of the laughable dialogue, not just because of the absurd "romance," not just because Willem Dafoe was playing to the back row of theaters not even showing the movie, but also because not enough Campbell.

One of the signs that I'm officially a dad now is that I didn't immediately get into my car and head downtown to stalk the guy.

We figured he was in town to promote his new book, Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way (which I haven't yet picked up; nor have I bought myself a copy of Bubba Ho-Tep, for that matter). And indeed, yesterday Bitter found out that he was going to be at the U of M signing copies of his novel. And then after that, he was going a few blocks down the street for a screening of The Man with the Screaming Brain, which he wrote and directed.

The most obvious sign that I'm officially a dad is that after work yesterday, I went home instead of going to either of these events.

Bitter was going to go and try to get me a picture of the man himself with her camera phone, but she called me an hour before the screening to let me know that the show was sold out.

So really, I ended up getting the best of both worlds. Sure, I didn't get to meet my B-movie idol, but I wouldn't have anyway. And thanks to M. Tiny, I didn't even have to leave the house.

Today's best search phrase: "Getting revenge on your best friend." Oh, and that's another thing I don't have to do, now that Bitter didn't get to see any more Bruce Campbell than I did.

posted by M. Giant 10:01 PM 8 comments

8 Comments:

Sadly, The Hudsucker Proxy also suffered from the problem of not enough Campbell. (Well, there was that, and it was saddled with the addition problem of too much Jennifer Jason Leigh.)

By Blogger katiedid, at July 28, 2005 at 11:56 PM  

What about his long-since cancelled TV show, Brisco County? Did no one else watch that but me?

By Blogger Tigerlily, at July 29, 2005 at 4:10 AM  

Oh, the world just doesn't have enough Bruce Campbell.
His movie, SkyHigh opens today. Ok, maybe it isn't his movie, but we are going to see it just because he is in it.
We have Bubba Ho-Tep and it couldn't have been a lot more, but it did have a lot of Campbell in it.
Tigerlily, we watched Brisco County and now we are always looking for the next big thing.

By Anonymous mrscrumley, at July 29, 2005 at 5:25 AM  

Dude -- I can't believe Mr. Campbell was in town and you didn't stalk him in his trailer. You could have brought M. Tiny - he would be fine, and he would have helped you to get closer to Bruce. People love dads with babies.

By Anonymous Jerry, at July 29, 2005 at 5:53 AM  

OMG,,my inner Ufda meter just went into over drive at the mere idea of Bruce being in Minn. Having family scattered all over the state left a powerful impression on me as far as the cool factor of " Dah Frozen Nort"..and you guys got a Bruce sighting ?

I am sooooo jealous..oh ja..I really am.

Have a great whatever
Boschka

By Blogger Boschka, at July 29, 2005 at 7:25 AM  

I got Bubba Ho-Tep off the 5 videos for $20 table at Hollywood Video and I adore it. To Half.com, M. Giant! Being a dad may keep you from standing-room-only fanjockeying, but you seriously need to prioritize that movie because it is the bomb.

By Blogger parcequilfaut, at July 29, 2005 at 1:41 PM  

Bruce Campbell rocks so hard that we saw every episode of "Jack of all Trades" which was excellently terrible (and in which Vern - "Mini-me" Troyer played Napolean Bonaparte).

And as to Spiderman... I have a theory. It is my firm belief that Raimi meant to have Bruce play Mr. Osbourne. I mean - did you see that mask? It totally has Bruce's jawline. Also when the movie was coming out I saw an interview with Dafoe saying that he had to beg for an audition as if the role were cast already!!!

Ok, so I think too much about Bruce Campbell. I can't help myself.

By Anonymous Good Ash, at July 29, 2005 at 4:47 PM  

went to the U to catch the signing and the movie... saw The Man pull up in a taxi (no limo baby!) and walked down the stairs to the bookstore with him... to in awe to speak to him... Bruce truly rulz.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at August 6, 2005 at 4:59 PM  

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