M. Giant's
Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks

Wednesday, December 08, 2004  

Humpblog (12/8/04)

On the one hand, I’m curious about Holiday Spice Pepsi, but on the other, there’s no damn way I’m buying a whole twelve-pack of the stuff. Or even a whole can, frankly. I’ve had spicy ginger beer, and I don’t care for it; I’ve always been of the opinion that in order to be properly refreshing, a soda should make you less thirsty when you drink it. I suspect HSP is guilty of this. And yet I’m oddly tempted to try it, even though I’m not prepared to commit to investing in a purchasable unit.

If someone wants to mail me an eyedropperful, let me know.

* * *

There’s this ad I’ve seen for a hair clinic, and the “model” is a particularly unimpressive specimen, even in his smug “after” photo. The message I’m getting (which I’m sure is not what they intend) is this: “Get a hair transplant, and you can still be fat and ugly.”

And also poorer, and most likely not all that bright. I might be reading that part into it, though.

* * *

M. Tiny eats as many as eight times a day, the same thing every time. I don’t know how he does it.

He also insists on using the same kind of nipple. Specifically, the Ross Pediatrics Similac Infant Nipple & Ring. As far as he’s concerned, all the other nipples suck. And if we try to give him one, he won’t.

The problem is that this is the kind of nipple they gave us when he was still in the hospital. They sent us home with a bunch, but they’re not going to last forever. And it’s the only nipple, as far as I can tell, that doesn’t seem to be available in stores. And it’s not like I don’t know where to look; I can find plenty of other nipples, and have spent many a fruitless hour browsing vainly along a veritable rubber buffet. But all those other kinds are the kind that make him spit it out, scream, and call Child Protective Services.

So help a new dad out, won’t you? We need nipples! And before anyone suggests it, doing something that gets him readmitted to the hospital is not an option.

* * *

I’m putting up the Christmas lights on the house tomorrow. There’s a lot that could go wrong. There could be freezing rain. I could be short on light strings. I could have enough light strings, but not enough of them work. I could run out of staples, or nails, or duct tape, or those little plastic brackets that clip on to the rain gutter.

Of course, freezing rain, if it comes early enough, will render all of the above moot.

* * *

There’s one thing I do like about working downtown. No, it’s not shelling out five bucks a day for parking. No, it’s not walking fifteen minutes from my parking space to my office. No, it’s not that fact that you can’t get a decent lunch for less than six dollars. It’s that you’re near everything.

Last week I called Trash and said, “I went to the post office and Target, and I was only away from my desk for twenty minutes. Can you do that?”

Being married to me for thirteen years has allowed Trash to develop the ability to roll her eyes in a way that’s audible over the phone.

At some point I’d like to spend a lunch hour exploring the skyways, just to see what’s new since the last time I worked downtown. Aside from the cellphone stores in every building, of course. I really don’t know what’s up with that, except that they might explain why I can’t walk ten yards downtown without losing a call. There’s even a Saturn dealer in the skyway. I don’t know how I’m going to drive my car up to the second-floor level next time I need a wheel alignment, but I’ll worry about that when the time comes.

Today’s best search phrase: “‘Cardboard tube’ + repair.” Dude, with what cardboard tube repairmen are charging in labor these days, you’re better off just getting a new one.

posted by M. Giant 8:37 PM 17 comments


Call the hospital. Ask them where you can get more of that kind of nipple. Either they'll tell you they can get them to you, or they'll tell you who can.

Hospitals are generally helpful that way.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 8, 2004 at 9:24 PM  


By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 8, 2004 at 9:35 PM  

HSP tastes a lot like Coke... a lot more like Coke with a little bit of spiced rum in it...

By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 8, 2004 at 9:53 PM  

Holiday Spice Pepsi isn't worth the effort. Even my die-hard pop drinking 11 yo refused to have more than one sip.

Good luck on the nipples.


By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 8, 2004 at 9:55 PM  

I've got your nipples right here......


By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 8, 2004 at 10:27 PM  


By Blogger Joanne, at December 9, 2004 at 1:20 AM  

Okay so the plan is this...we head back to Children's Hospital...you and Trash keep the guy at the front desk busy and Trash's sister and I will run in and "borrow" a large bag full of the "Nipples". It's a good plan man!

Hetero Sexual Life Partner....:)

By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 9, 2004 at 6:33 AM  

You can also get the bottle nipples directly from Similac at http://www.welcomeaddition.com/. Just click on the link to order online now, then click on the infant and toddler nutrition link, then specialty products. They have 3 sizes.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 9, 2004 at 7:49 AM  

eBay has at least six auctions for lots of brand new Similac Nipples and Rings. (Don't use "Ross" in your search.)

By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 9, 2004 at 8:41 AM  

Damn. I was going to tell you to go back to the hospital. They're usually pretty good with the new baby kick-downs. I got about 15 pacifiers that way. Good luck!!

By Blogger Kayke, at December 9, 2004 at 9:50 AM  

Do you mean the ones the hospital gave you that screw on the little formula bottles? Because I have SO MANY * of those and you, sir, and your lovely wife can have them. I can put them in the mail or UPS tomorrow if you like. They're all still sealed in their pretty sterile shrinkwrap.

I got our baby off those the second I ran out of the tiny formula bottles so I have a lot of extras thanks to a very nice nurse.

email: gdbrd@yahoo.com

* By SO MANY, that means a gallon-sized Ziploc of them. While not an infinite supply, they're at least free.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 9, 2004 at 12:10 PM  

Is this what you are looking for?

They sell them in cases of 250.


Damn, that's a lot of nipples.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 9, 2004 at 8:47 PM  

The spice pepsi is odd. Not horrible but not something I will buy again (my sister-in-law talked me into it the first time). It smells like cloves and has reddish-orange foam. Plus it tasts like the rootbeer flavor of the bottlecap candy I remember eating as a kid. I had one of those moments when I drank it and knew I knew the flavor and then it took me five minutes to remember the candy. How completely bizarre is it that I can recall the flavor of something I haven't eaten in at least 20 years? That kind of freaks me out. Of all the things I want to remember and can't, but I can remember that taste?

By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 10, 2004 at 12:53 PM  

The link between smell/taste and memory is really strong. As to the question of why: only the nose, or maybe the vomeronasal organ, knows.

By Blogger Febrifuge, at December 10, 2004 at 2:32 PM  

The Pepsi Spice is kinda gross on its own, but like so many things it improves greatly with a dash of whisky. :)

By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 11, 2004 at 7:26 AM  

Alright, as someone who is ADDICTED to Diet Coke, I feel as though I am highly qualified to say that Holiday Spice Pepsi is good stuff. That, and they sell it in single 20 oz bottles at the Lunds on Lake and Humboldt (and I'm sure in other places in the Cities, but there for sure =P). Give it a try. And, um, good luck on the nipples.

Journey to Ithaca

By Anonymous Anonymous, at December 12, 2004 at 12:15 AM  

Not horribly timely for you, but I feel your pain! And of course you don't need this anymore but maybe somebody who comes across this page like I did will need it.

There are a bunch of ebay auctions (odd), but I found the nipples at the manufacturer website.

Ross Pediatrics

By Blogger ALD, at September 11, 2007 at 5:45 PM  

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