Velcrometer
Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks
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M. Giant's Velcrometer Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks |
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Wednesday, December 15, 2004 Humpblog (12/15/04) All of the winning Sugar Cookie Recipes are posted in the results entry. Go check them out. * * * I'm covering the most recent episode of The Amazing Race for TWoP, since Linda has six hours of reality season finales to recap this week. Gosh! I am sooo busy! * * * The inter-feline dynamic is still in flux at our house. Turtle, the four-month-old spaz, thinks she's the alpha cat, despite all the thumpings she's regularly getting from both Strat and Phantom. Strat prefers Phantom to Turtle, but not by much. They'll at least lie on the bed together occasionally, although he's careful to stay as far away from her as possible. Phantom has grown somewhat weary of Turtle's constant high spirits and playful attacks on her head. And Strat? She luuuurves him. She keeps staring at him adoringly, wishing and hoping that someday he'll let her come up and snuggle up against his furry white bulk. So far, though, all he does is glare at her a little less threateningly. We keep telling her to hang in there. Be patient. It'll happen one day. Meanwhile, Turtle is off somewhere fighting with air or something, so we're not worried about her as long as she can avoid pulling something heavy down on her head. I'm pretty sure there's a human baby around here somewhere too. * * * Yes! I knew it. In fact, want to see some pictures?  "Soon, my son. Soon we will have our revenge upon the Jedi."  M. Tiny immediately after his bath? Or Hugh Hefner after falling through a timewarp?  "Pimpin' ain't easy. Especially from this height. You ever try to smack up a ho from down here? Alls you get is a fistful of stacked heel." * * * M. Tiny has only spit up about five times in his entire life, and most of those were when he was still in the hospital. When we feed him, we make sure there's a large spit cloth under his chin, but it's there to catch drool rather than the other thing. He's a great burper, though. He lets out these thunderous, Homer Simpson roars that shake the pictures on the walls. Last night, before Trash got home, I was feeding him and he was coming up on six fluid ounces in one sitting, which is a near-record. He called for a break and I sat him upright, patting him on the back encouragingly. This time I could actually feel the gas bubble working its way up. This is going to be a big one, I thought. I made sure the cloth was positioned just under his upper lip, to absorb the few drops of formula that would accompany the belch. I kept patting. I can't wait to hear this one, I thought. And then I thought, That's not a-- I realized what was really happening and moved to raise the spitrag a half-second before a gallon of hot baby milk firehosed out of him and all over both of us. Unfortunately, I would have needed an entire second. It's amazing how your priorities change after you become a dad. And how much you can calmly accomplish while warm spit-up is cooling on your dress pants. Today's best search phrase: "Giant fuck sticks." Please see my Amazing Race recap after it's up. posted by M. Giant 8:44 PM 10 comments 10 Comments:
Yay! An M.Giant recap!
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M. Tiny is adorable. But then, you don't need random strangers to tell you that. ('Course, I guess it doesn't hurt.)
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Your baby is cute as a button, but you know that already.
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By You've probably worked this one out now, but dude... don't go for the record. Burp frequently. (And burping the baby doesn't hurt either.) Offer too much nutritional liquid without burping, and if you're lucky you get spit-up (in quantity), and if you're unlucky you get screaming unhappy baby with a stomach-ache.
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I am supposed to be writing a paper for finals. Instead I made some crack cookies. They are aptly named, the crack cookies. I think I'm going to have another one now.
By Amusing and adorable pictures (and captions)! And my wife and I laughed hysterically at your Amazing Race racap. Especially the parts about Kris, with all her rage and ennui.
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