M. Giant's
Velcrometer
Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks


Wednesday, August 25, 2004  

Humpblog (8/25/04)

I didn't mention this the other day, but Monday's post was Velcrometer's 500th. I could have been all self-congratulatory about it, but the fact is that some of those posts were only like a paragraph long. And others weren't even written by me. Really, as far as landmarks go, its only significance is the fact that now there are an even 200 older entries that Blogger won't let me go back and edit.

As of this posting, it'll be 201. So even that loses its significance.

Never mind. Just forget I said anything.

* * *

The August Kieran's Pub Quiz was last Wednesday, and our team, Third Place Dick, went for the threepeat. The fact that I'm not mentioning it until now probably gives you some idea of how successful that attempt was.

Shortly before the Quiz, the Quizmaster came up to our table and apologized in his Irish brogue that our trophies for last month's win would not be forthcoming that evening. It seems the trophy company who supplies the Quiz had gone out of business, apparently unable to survive on the nine dollars per month that the Quizmaster paid them.

Or perhaps the engraver was a deeply religious individual who shut his doors rather than engraving the marginally dirty phrase "3RD PLACE DICK" on yet another set of tchotchkes.

A few minutes later, the Quizmaster took the stage and repeated the theory to the room at large. Then he said, "No, that's a fookin' lie."

He'd just forgotten to order them.

Whatever the case, without our trophies there to give us a much-needed morale boost, we ended up seven points behind the winning team, in fifth place for the evening. The prize for fifth place at the Kieran's Pub Quiz? Also, as it happens, dick.

Now that the mojo's gone, we've considered changing our name again to something that will sound funny when the Quizmaster burrs it out several times over the course of an evening. We're leaning towards "Monkey Monkey Turkey Monkey Eight."

* * *

I know I said I wasn't watching the Olympics this year, but Trash and I watched the women's gymnastics. Obciously it's too late to do anything about it now, but somebody really should have advised our young women against the red leotards. Or at least against red material that held onto the chalk so well.

Trash was the one who pointed out to me the fact that there were clearly delineated patches of white right at the lower front of their leotards, as if they'd chalked up their hands and had themselves a little party. Or were somehow menstruating in reverse.

It was really distracting, until we figured out that that's where the leotards were hitting the low bar, and the chalk was sticking there. Then it was a tiny bit less distracting.

Anyway, word to the wise for the 2008 team. I'm not going to go searching for pictures, because I feel dirty enough talking about this already. Let's just move on, okay?

* * *

Speaking of Monkey Monkey Turkey Monkey Eight, one of us is in the mass media today. ZV's workplace made national news. Check it out.

* * *

And speaking of questionable imagery at the Olympic Games, do you Yahoo? Infinidox does.

The link leads to the first in a series of what Infinidox refers to as Yahoo Porn. Start there and go forward through the archives. Safe for work? I don't know, you tell me. Yahoo seems to think so.

* * *

Today's best search phrase: I'm just going to preemptively say right now that any phrases that lead to that item about the red leotards are disqualified in advance, forever.

posted by M. Giant 7:21 PM 5 comments

5 Comments:

I want to know how many you're going to get just for "menstruating in reverse."

-Linda

By Anonymous Anonymous, at August 25, 2004 at 8:45 PM  

Monkey! My local Irish pub is the host of the Quiz Night, and we also wanted to make our lovely-accented quizmaster say something silly. Short but sweet, our team was "Arr, Mateys."

By Anonymous Anonymous, at August 26, 2004 at 12:58 AM  

Oh, I am *so* glad that we weren't the only ones who noticed the chalk problem. And sadly, once we saw it, then we kept *looking* for it, because we are such classy people. At one point Carly looked like she was packing - it was really quite disconcerting. Red was really an unfortunate color choice when chalk was involved.

Jenipurr
http://www.jenipurr.com/meow

By Anonymous Anonymous, at August 26, 2004 at 5:50 PM  

OK -- the Olympic Porn site was great. Someone should send it to Fark.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at August 27, 2004 at 2:48 PM  

Thanks for the link, M. Giant. I got more hits from your link in 2 days than I usually do in 2 or 3 months. Of course, if someone actually decides to follow through on Comment #4 there and Fark me (I certainly wouldn't complain), I'm thinking the ante would be raised significantly.

Jeremy
infinidox.diaryland.com

By Anonymous Anonymous, at August 28, 2004 at 12:45 AM  

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