M. Giant's
Velcrometer
Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks


Wednesday, July 14, 2004  

Humpblog (7/14/04)

A couple of years ago, Trash and I stopped at the IKEA in Schaumburg, Illinois on our way back from Chicago. Among the many indispensable household items we acquired there for less then the price of a new hardcover was a box of straws. Just regular old bendy drinking straws, but emblazoned with the name GROGGY and drenched in IKEA mystique. When we ran out of them, we were sad.

Then last Thanksgiving we cat-sat for a colleague of Trash's when she and her family went to Chicago. The only payment we asked was a new box of straws from IKEA.

That box, too, is now nearly depleted. It's got maybe a couple of weeks left, and we don't know anyone who's going to Chicago in that time.

But it's okay because now we have our own IKEA! Right here in the Twin Cities! As of today!

I don't know why I'm not there right now.

* * *

For me, morning radio shows are just something to be turned off (or more often, snooze-buttoned off) as quickly as possible when the alarm goes off. I don't really care which station is on, as long as the hosts are loud enough to irritate me into some form of consciousness. The guys on the station I currently listen to certainly fit that bill.

The weird thing is that one morning I was dreaming that a bunch of guys were playing poker on the radio. Which is just stupid and nonsensical and dream-logical enough that a person can reasonably dream about it.

But this morning, when the last snooze expired, Trash and I were already up and on the other end of the room. I can't claim to have been fully awake yet, because if I had been, I might have cared to stay tuned in long enough to confirm that the zany members of the wacky morning crew were actually doing what I thought they were doing.

Which was playing poker on the radio.

Now I'm wondering if that idiot dream I had wasn't a dream, but something I was actually hearing before coming fully aware for the day. If that's the case, it isn't the fault of my idiot subconscious, but that of idiot radio hosts and program directors. Who, being awake, should really know better.

We'll see tomorrow.

* * *

I got the chance to invite somebody to GMail. I was hoping that might happen so I could have some sort of silly contest or something, but Deann brought my attention to this instead. It's a way to match people with invites to US troops overseas who could use an e-mail account big enough to store movies and pictures from home. So I gave my invite to a Marine somewhere.

It's only fair. He did send in the funniest parody lyrics to the theme from 7th Heaven, after all.

* * *

Today's best search phrase: "Flaccid bladders." Sometimes even I wonder what the hell I'm doing to get these kinds of hits.

posted by M. Giant 7:57 PM 0 comments

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