Velcrometer
Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks
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M. Giant's Velcrometer Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks |
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Wednesday, June 23, 2004 Humpblog (6/23/04)/ For the past month, I've been ignoring that little blurb on the Blogger homepage saying that as a user, I'm eligible for a Gmail account. Everyone's all excited about this Gmail thing. Even Trash isn't immune. She sent me a message from her fancy new Gmail account, the thrust of which was, "Don't you envy my coolness?" I said, "Don't you envy the fact that my free e-mail providers don't mine my e-mail messages fro advertising opportunities?" She said, "They do, they just don't tell you." Thanks a lot. Even so, I didn't bother setting up my new Gmail account. Then one morning last week I woke up to find that the storage capacity of my Yahoo! mail had increased sixteenfold, literally overnight. Neat! Obviously they're feeling threatened by Gmail. So I signed up for my Gmail account today. I can't decide if I'm contrary or just perverse. You tell me. * * * I'm lucky enough not to be susceptible to headaches. I'm not immune to them, mind you; if I drop my caffeine dosage to zero from three pounds in the space of twenty-four hours or trepan myself on a door frame I'll pay for it. But cranial pain is generally not part of my daily routine. So when I had a headache last week that was severe enough to wake me up, it could only mean one thing: Brain tumor. But then Trash told me about all the people at her office who were having headaches, and the prevailing theory over there was that it was the result of recent and extreme fluctuations in barometric pressure. Which makes sense, I guess. That scene in Total Recall where Arnold's faceplate shatters on the Martian surface and his head inflates like a balloon doesn't look particularly therapeutic. I'm just glad the barometric pressure has stabilized. It totally cured my brain tumor. * * * Ready for the latest on my back yard? We've gotten lots of rain so far this summer. I'm just pointing that out lest you think I'm going to try to take credit for what has transpired. To refresh your memory, here's what it looked like two years, two weeks, and three days ago: 
And here's what it looks like today: 
All right, I exaggerate. But not by much. I'd put up an actual picture, but I can't find the cable that connects the digital camera to the computer. What am I saying? With my mad horticultural skillz, I'll grow one. Be right back. Okay, Check this out: 
Not only is it seamlessly verdant, it's in desperate need of a good mowing. Sadly, my old-school lawn mower only has one setting: Moby. So I'm afraid that if I shear the grass down to stubble just as we're heading into the end of June, it won't make it until July. There is historical precedent for this. So maybe, just for this one year, we'll have what's called a "prairie conversion." Since it's being converted from a moonscape, I think it's an improvement. * * * While we're on the subject of pictures, here's a more recent one of Trash. This was in fact taken in Los Angeles, so it captures a moment literally within hours of being mistaken for someone famous. We're still trying to figure out whom. 
Today's best search phrase: "Shag carpet pimps." I now have a new dream job. posted by M. Giant 5:03 PM 0 comments 0 Comments:
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