M. Giant's
Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks

Thursday, May 27, 2004  


As a member of Travelocity, Trash’s default meal on any flight to anywhere is the vegetarian one. Since there isn’t room on an airplane galley for an unlimited number of options, the vegetarian meal also has to serve as kosher, vegan, and halal for all I know. And thus they are generally inedible.

On one flight, Trash was delivered a meal that consisted of an apple and a ham sandwich. Then the flight attendant came back and said, "Oh, sorry, you’re supposed to have the vegetarian meal." And she left with the sandwich, never to return. The vegetarian meal, apparently, was an apple. It would almost have been better if she had grabbed it, peeled the ham off the bread, and plunked it back down in front of her.

The vegetarian meal on Saturday morning was an envelope of oatmeal, a cup of warm water, an igneous bagel, and a battered banana. Trash remained unimpressed with the airline’s service for vegetarians.

I said, "I don’t think the idea is to give you good service. I think the idea is to make you feel bad about being a vegetarian."

* * *

In San Francisco:

"Why do they call it Golden Gate Park? You can’t even see the Golden Gate Bridge from here."

"What’s the first thing you think of when you think of San Francisco?"

"If that’s the criterion, why don’t they call it Rice-A-Roni park?"

* * *

In LA, a woman on a cell phone, near Robertson:

"No, dude, seriously -- it tastes really great when you're high."

* * *

Today’s best search phrase: "'Bad tooth' flight remedy." I don’t know what to tell you. Try asking for a vegetarian meal.

posted by M. Giant 9:38 PM 0 comments


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