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Monday, April 26, 2004  

┬┐Que the Hell Pasa?

Trash and I have really been enjoying Chipotle a lot lately. Me especially, because it's just about the only exposure I get to Spanish any more. That'll probably change when we go to California next month; just in time for me to forget every last word I knew, probably.

Unless I really crack down on my studies. Help me out here, won't you? As it says above, this is part four in a series. Links to the previous parts are below.

Parte Uno

Parte Dos

Parte Tres

Let's get to it. As you'll recall, our hero is a small boy named Pedro. We rejoin his saga in Scene 9 as Maria, the school secretary, greets him:

Maria: Pedro? Is that you?
Pedro: Certainly! It's me all right!

What you don't pick up from reading this is that Pedro now has the voice of a young man in his early twenties.

I find this off-putting. I thought the whole point was for us to learn Spanish the way small children learn it as their native language. What's going on here? I'm not going to be able to catch up to Pedro, who is now undoubtedly speaking Spanish at an adult level! Wait for me, Pedro! Por favor!

Pedro then mentions that Mr. Garcia is still his teacher. Um.

Excuse me?

Maria: Oh, yes. Many men and many women are studying with Mr. Garcia.

They are? What the hell has been going on here for the last fifteen years? Is this a school, or has it become Mr. Garcia's cult compound? And if Maria has been the secretary all this time, and Pedro has been a student all this time, and they don't recognize each other in the morning, what in God's name has Mr. Garcia been putting in the tamales?

We don't get answers to these questions. What we get is Maria's other boss, Mr. Lopez, asking her if she's busy. Does anybody ever answer that question in the negative when their boss asks that? Is anyone really that stupid? Besides me, I mean?

Maria reports that she's writing a letter for a Mr. Johnson. Mr. Lopez wants to know if she's typing it.

"Of course I'm typing it! I always type in the office!"

Now Mr. Lopez wants to know if she's writing it in English or Spanish.

"In Spanish. I'm writing the letter in Spanish. Mr. Johnson speaks Spanish. He speaks it very well." I don't know how the folks at Berlitz make her eye-roll audible, but they do.

But Maria, don't you see what's happening? Mr. Lopez isn't your true enemy, despite his micromanaging ways. It's Mr. Garcia, who wants to turn you all against each other to keep you weak! Resist him!

More on that in part five.

Today's best search phrase"They collect car number plates and hence are rightly called..." I guess we'll never know.

posted by M. Giant 6:39 PM 0 comments

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