M. Giant's
Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks

Wednesday, March 31, 2004  

Reader Mail Slot, Episode XXIII

Most of the e-mails I got this month were jokes for the joke show, like I requested (and am still taking, if you want to send more). If you want to know what they were, listen to your local Public Radio station on April 17. Aside from all of those, each one of which I appreciated, there weren't many e-mails this month, but they were good ones. Check this out:

No, you don't know me, but I was setting up a blog [which is neato, by the way. Check it out, you guys --M. Giant] on blogger.com last week and was able to solve a couple of technical issues by checking out how you did it on Velcrometer.

Kind of alarming considering how frequently I screw up tricky HTML challenges like >I>italics>/. At least, I thought it was alarming at the time. Now that my day job includes, in addition to my previous duties, responsibility for a much larger website that gets quite a bit more traffic than this one does, I know from alarming.

Well, It's flattering, in any case. As is this suggestion from previous e-mailer Josh:

Dear Mr. Giant,

I have just gotten both hands on the audiobook
In A Sunburned Country, read by the author, Bill Bryson. I know you are tired of hearing about it, but what follows might be relevant. As I was listening to it, I thought I had an idea. I might be wrong about the idea thing, but I figured you would let me know either way. Why don't you have your readers vote on which entry they would most like to have in audioblog format, as read by the author? (I'm not sure which one I would pick.)

It would be a big risk for you in any case. What if you have a speech impediment, or a queereyeforthestraightguyesque inflection. Would you want any of your fans to know? Would hearing your voice "spoil the magic"? Or what if the readers vote on an entry that you didn't write? Could your ego handle it? I know mine couldn't.

Actually, my particular vocal curse is that of the "low-talker"; I'm one of those unfortunate people who have to put an inordinate amount of effort into projecting our voices above the din of air circulation. But thanks for your concern.

You might do three short entries in three different voices or accents, or you could have two imposters mixed in with the real you. It would be like Joe Millionaire meets Survivor in a celebrity boxing match with Regis Philbin. I can't wait.



That’s really sweet, but here's the thing: it kind of strikes me as something I would do if I were desperate for attention, some kind of needy "prove to me that you love me!" move, a stunt to get people to tell me I'm funny even though they wouldn't ordinarily bother. So I'm all over it.

I'll read one past entry, in my own voice. Blogger allows us users to post one free "audblog" entry as a trial. You guys get to pick which one it is. Send me an e-mail with the word "Audioblog" or "Audblog" somewhere in the subject line, and tell me the date of the entry you want me to read. It can be any entry from March 19, 2002 to April 15, 2004. I reserve the right to toss out votes for entries that are too long, too dependent on photos or hyperlinks, or not written by me (thanks, Josh). Send your e-mails between now and April 15, and I'll read the entry with the most votes (or the entry woth the vote, as the case may be) on Monday, April 19. Feel free to vote for more than one entry, but don't vote for the same entry more than once (or, if you do, use a different e-mail address so I don't know you're doing it).

Don't worry about voter fraud, by the way; the ballots will be verified by an independent, impartial, third-party agency. Or perhaps my wife.

Today's best search phrase: "Zen garden dollar store." Hey, inner peace don't come cheap, homeslice.

posted by M. Giant 4:24 PM 0 comments


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