M. Giant's
Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks

Wednesday, March 17, 2004  

Humpblog (3/17/04)

Happy St. Patrick's Day! It's the official holiday for people to drink until they find me amusing. Bottoms up, suckas!

Personally, I'm glad I'm not spending this St. Pat's day the way I spent the last one.

Anyway, this convenient list of most popular St. Patrick's Day expressions may come in handy for those of you who don't have enough luck o' the Irish to own an Onion desk calendar (or know someone who owns one; we're kind of annoying that way).

1. Kiss Me, I'm Conveniently Close By
2. Cead Mille Fuck'ye
3. Who's For A Song About Guns And Drink, Then?
4. Gi' Ou' Me Parade, Yeh Wee Homosexual Twit
5. Erin Go Bleaaarrrggh

* * *

I just found out last week that Allison Janney used to be on my show. Allison Janney! On my show! I find her awesome.

This was, of course, years ago, before anybody knew who she was. I'm a little bitter that I came along too late to meet her, but it can't be helped; my job didn't even exist back then, never mind the fact that I wouldn't have been qualified for it anyway. Maybe it's just as well, considering the size of Trash's girl-crush on her. At least now, if I ever meet C. J. from The West Wing some time in the future, I'll have something to say to her besides "I find you awesome." Awesome people must get tired of hearing that all the time.

* * *

Want to see my new favorite blog? Click here. The obvious question is: what took so long?

* * *

What does the Secretary of the Interior do during a George W. Bush presidency? Ask Jessica Simpson, who told Gale Norton, "You've done a nice job of decorating the White House."

How can she not be doing that on purpose?

* * *

There was a special Pub Quiz last night at Kieran's. We ended up in eighth place out of twenty-six teams. Our team was short a couple of members; Trash excused herself, as she was staring down the barrel of a Wednesday from Hell, and Miss Alli was going off and being famous. I find that five is a much better number than three for a Pub Quiz team, because two teammates isn't always enough to talk me out of being wrong.

We did win a prize, though; each of us took home a shiny new Finnegan's™ pint glass, the reward for being in the dead center of the field of competitors at the end of round three. One doesn't often get awards for outstanding mediocrity like that.

Maybe we should have snagged glasses for our absent teammates, but on the other hand, if they'd been there we wouldn't have gotten a consolation prize; we'd be looking at first place, dude. Just like next month.

Or possibly the month after that.

Today's best search phrase: "Hokey equipment." There's a hokey equipment store near my house. You can get a gun that shoots bubbles, or soft-focus camera filters, or hammers whose heads go flying off on the backswing. It's your one-stop shop for all things hokey. Unfortunately, I can't go in there because the sign over the door reading "Hokey-Dokey" makes me want to eat my own head.

posted by M. Giant 5:11 PM 0 comments


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