M. Giant's
Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks

Wednesday, March 10, 2004  

Humpblog (3/10/04)

The thing about eBay (he said, five years after everybody already knew all this stuff), is that you have to be careful not just when selling, but when buying. eBay likes to say that when you make the highest bid, you've "won" the item up for auction. Really? I won it? Does that mean I don't have to pay for it? No? Then shut up, eBay.

Trash and I “won” the fourth season of The Sopranos on DVD. It arrived last week. It was a suspiciously small package for something that supposedly contained six CDs. But then, that’s to be expected. Apparently that’s how they package multiple DVD sets in CHINA.

Not to be xenophobic or anything. In fact, all those Mandarin ideograms on the box were kind of exotic-looking. And given the price we paid, we wouldn’t have objected to watching the show around Chinese subtitles. Or even in Chinese, provided there was an English subtitle option. We might have even been able to put up with characters speaking English most of the time except for random Chinese phrases, like they used to do on Firefly. We’re not totally Amerocentric.

But our DVD player is. For reasons that continue to escape me, DVDs from one side of the world don’t work in players from the other side. So our version of season four consists of the Sony logo and a text box that reads “C 13:00.” Now, I’d heard the show had gone downhill somewhat last year, but not that far.

In the listing, the seller claims that the disks work just fine on her DVD player, artfully omitting the fact that her DVD player was purchased in Hong Kong. So we’ll be asking for our money back. If all else fails, this could be when eBay’s “buyer feedback” function comes in handy. I suspect I could unload some salty invective if called upon. Perhaps even in Chinese.

* * *

This week’s amusing spam, from “Luke,” with the subject line “Fwd: Hi”:

Hey girl,

Could you have lost me any faster? I don’t think so.

I know I got the answer to not having a job. :) Last week I told you Yvonne had this new work at her house?

I’m sorry, I don’t remember that conversation. Or Yvonne. Or you.

She told me she was doing whatever she wanted and getting paid for it. Nice, eh? So anyway, I am thinking I might do it too, but not by myself, please do it with me.

There’s a link t this point in the e-mail that I didn’t click on, but certain telltale words in the URL tell me they’re not selling Bibles.

I bet we could do this like, part time, and still have plenty of time for classes. Call me right now, let's seriously talk about this, I know we could do well. Talk to you later, Eileen

Hey, Luke! Did you know Eileen has hacked into your e-mail and has asked me to do webcam pr0n with her?

I should also mention the other note I got with the subject line, “Russel the One-Eyed Wonder Muscle.” Dammit, I knew I should have given my online pseudonym more thought. Now it’s too late. Phooey.

* * *

Obviously this isn’t the only amusing e-mail I’ve gotten this week; I’d like to thank all of you who have found the time to share your favorite jokes with me. Please, keep them coming. I’ve gotten some really good ones already, and I appreciate every one of them (except for the one about—well, never mind what it was about. The sick bastard in question knows who he is). But I can still use more. It’s not too late. Be funny!

* * *

Today’s best search phrase: “The info of percent of people travel on planes on vacation time channel.” Wow, satellite TV has everything.

posted by M. Giant 7:52 PM 0 comments


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