Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks
Monday, November 17, 2003 Portrait of the Artist as a Sick Man
Thanks from Trash to everyone who sent her birthday wishes. Now she feels like her birthday has actually happened.
* * *
So Trash and I went down to Iowa this week to visit Deniece and also to have our pictures taken. Deniece’s mom, my sister-in-law, is a photographer in training, and she needed some portraits for her portfolio. I, in turn, needed an author photograph to send to my publisher, so it worked out great for everyone.
Aside from the whole getting sick thing, that is.
Two weeks ago, Trash went to Detroit and got sick. Then she came home, and I went to Virginia, and she stayed sick. Then I came home, and she went to Detroit again, and got better. We spent about one out of three nights together for that week and a half, and I managed to get her rhino-funk anyway. This may make me the only person in history who ever got his wife’s cold over the phone. Although the combination of not sleeping last Saturday and arousing my allergies with a metric shitload of dust a few days later may have been factors.
Whatever, the case, my instructions to my sister-in-law—“just make me look literate”—were bound to be undercut by my own appearance. Of course dark circles underneath red-rimmed eyes that betray a mind tweaking on off-brand cold medicine, and a scabby, crimson nose serving as the headwaters for twin rivers of phlegm don’t necessarily preclude literacy, but I have to suspect that they kind of tend to draw attention away from it.
So on Saturday, when my sister-in-law asked me if I wanted color or black-and-white for the photos, it was a no-brainer. Maybe a moody monochrome would translate “miserable cold sufferer” into “tormented genius.” If nothing else, my feverish shivering was bound to make a gauze filter unnecessary.
While we were at it, my sister-in-law took a few shots of Trash and me together. We’ll have an arty-looking black-and-white portrait to put up on the shelf and point out to guests: “There’s Trash and me with the flu.”
So I ended up staying home today to try and get better. Also to avoid spreading it to my coworkers. A bunch of them are going to San Diego this week, and the last thing I need is to read about an outbreak of Minnesota flu in Southern California. I hope that’s enough of a karmic credit to make up for a short entry today. And if not, get off my back. I’m sick.
Today’s best search phrase: “Saturn.” That’s it. Maybe I need to stop talking about my car so much.
posted by M. Giant 2:17 PM 0 comments