M. Giant's
Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks

Tuesday, September 23, 2003  

Today’s Best Search Phrase

I know it’s not the end of the month, but I just had to share this email from a reader named Josh. It’s relevant:

I wanted to let you know that your "Today's Best Search Phrase" feature has made me snort coffee through my nose more than once. (I read Velcrometer in the mornings (Snort in humor, not disgust)). But it has also gotten me and my other Indiana buddies together for a little game/wager. Who can have the first featured "Today's Best Search Phrase." The rules are simple. Browse through the Velcrometer archives, and then construct a Google search that will hilariously link to your pages. First man featured wins. So far I haven't.

Either you are on to me, or there are others even better at rigging the search.

As I told Josh, this is an awesome idea. As I told Josh, I’ve decided to tell everyone about it. So I have. You’re all invited to play!

Here’s the rules:

How to enter: type a nutty search phrase into a search engine. If Velcrometer pops up, click on through to it.

The search phrase must show up in my referral log. That means you have to actually click through to me on the results page. Note: If you’ve been to Velcrometer in the past half-hour, SiteMeter won’t count your search engine link as a new referral. It’ll just count you as still here. So keep that in mind.

You don’t have to use Google. You can use Yahoo! Search, or AltaVista, or LexisNexis for all I care. If it shows up in my referral log, it’s in play.

I have to see it in my referral log myself. No alerting me to wacky search phrases, whether it’s your own or someone else’s. Let’s not dilute the purity of this any more than I already have. If you have a wacky search phrase and I miss it (as is more likely to happen overnight or on weekends), them’s the berries.

Who is the sole judge of whether a search phrase is actually “Today’s best search phrase?” You’re soaking in him. Anyone who sends me an e-mail saying, “Hey, why’d you pick that search phrase? This search phrase is better” will be summarily disqualified on the grounds of having bugged me.

If—and only if—a search phrase becomes Today’s best search phrase as designated at the bottom of the entry, the person that search phrase belongs to will receive one (1) item of his or her choosing from the Velcrometer CafePress store. The winner will also have his or her name (or Internet pseudonym, as preferred) announced as the winner, and if said winner has a work-safe blog or website, I’ll add it to my “links” section for an indefinite period of not less than one month, and not more than a period to be determined by me.

To claim the prize, the winner will be expected to send me an e-mail in which he or she claims the search phrase, verifies the date and approximate time the search phrase was entered, the search engine used, the domain, and time zone. Yes, this information is semi-public, but my free SiteMeter report only shows the hundred most recent referrals, and I will only post search phrases after they’ve dropped off the report. If somebody wants to cheat so badly that they resort to logging information on every search phrase that comes up, no prize I have for that person will make him or her less pathetic.

There will be only one winner. The contest ends when the winner is determined by me. By “determined,” I do not mean “announced.” If someone wins and I don’t get around to updating before you claim a search phrase of your own, that person still won and you didn’t. Sorry. If your phrase got used before someone else and that person claimed theirs before you claimed yours, you don’t win again. Damn, you can’t catch a break, can you?

Have at it.

Today’s best search phrase: “Possum Snapple.” Mmmmm. Refreshing.

And that one didn't count!

posted by M. Giant 3:56 PM 1 comments


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