M. Giant's
Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks

Friday, August 22, 2003  

Goodbye, Sort of

Today’s my last day at work. It was the last time I cursed the morning traffic on the Crosstown, the last time pulling into the parking lot, the last time calling my wife when I get here, my last lunch break, my last 55-cent soda from the vending machine…

This could go on all day. But I don’t want this to become too maudlin, so I’ll just get on with the entry. And so, below is a list of everything I’ll miss about my job apropos of today being my last day. And the day of my last visit to the bathroom, my last stop in the mailroom…

The location. I’m in a building with a deli and a convenience store. It’s sometimes hard for me to get away for more than a few minutes, but that’s still enough time to run down and pick up a sandwich and a box of Kleenex™ for $37.50. The building is a block away from a Saturn dealership, so if I need to get my car fixed I can drop it off, walk to work, and walk back over to pick the car up at the end of the day. I’m surrounded by fast food restaurants, most of which I’ve gotten lunch from at least once over the past seven years. And we’re on one of the most commercially developed stretches of freeway in the metro area, so on my lunch hour I can pick something up at Home Depot, get a haircut, have my oil changed, buy movie tickets for the evening, and take an amusement park ride at the Mall of America. That lunch hour is going to run pretty long, but at least there won’t be much driving in it. Starting next week I’m going to be at a relatively isolated office in a residential neighborhood, and I’ll have to do my random errands on evenings and weekends like normal people.

My coworkers. People like my friend T. Rex and others have kept me sane for years. I’m not the most approachable guy around here, which made it all the more surprising when I got here and the podium was decorated like a circus tent with streamers and balloons. As if that weren’t enough, the potluck they put together was diametrically opposed to the increasingly desultory affairs that have drifted through the Call Center in recent months. There was so much food here that I was almost wishing I’d passed it up in favor of something lighter, like a Hungry Man™ dinner. The number of people who have stopped by to congratulate me and wish me luck is almost enough to make me feel a little guilty about having secretly sabotaged all of their careers for no reason.

My boss. Even though my boss at the Call Center isn’t a legendary broadcaster and best-selling author, she’s been great to work for. When she was promoted from being a manager to being the director of the department a few years ago, she confessed to me that she was a little nervous about being able to do the job. I told her, “You’ll be fine as long as you always listen to me.” I was mostly kidding, but the past several years have shown that she took my advice to heart. How she was able to rely on my input and still keep this department from crashing and burning is something I’ll never understand.

Daily updates Having time to update every day, and the traffic that goes with that, is something I’ve gotten used to. I can only hope that I’ll attract more readers for the posts I do make when word gets out to more surfers about what an interesting job I have. I mean, it’s not like I’m a porn clerk, but you never know who might want to peek behind the scenes of a radio show. Or behind the speaker grille, as the case may be.

Carpooling. Every morning, I drop Trash at her office and proceed to my own. Then at the end of the day I leave work, go back to her office, post an entry while she finishes up for the day, and drive her home. That’s over now. Now I work in the opposite direction and further away, so we’ll no longer share a commute. I’ll see the nice people who work with her much less frequently. We’ll be burning a lot more gasoline. We’ll see that much less of each other every day. That’s going to be the hardest part. That’s going to be the biggest adjustment. That’s what makes us sad just thinking about it.

So why change jobs at all? Scroll down to yesterday’s entry. I know I will.

I’ll catch you later. Like I said before, I’ll be updating again at some point; I just don’t know when. Thanks to everyone who’s been reading, and thanks especially to Wing Chun, because if she hadn’t published some of my earlier stuff and then invited me to join Damn Hell Ass Kings, I might still be wondering if anyone would ever hire me to write so much as a mailing label. You all rock.

Today’s best search phrase: “@mputee naked pictures.” That little “at” sign in there is so I don’t encourage more searches like that.

Oh, my God, that’s the last daily “Today’s best search phrase!”

No, don’t get up. I’ll kick myself out.

posted by M. Giant 3:13 PM 0 comments


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