M. Giant's
Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks

Tuesday, July 22, 2003  

Discretion Advised

You’d think that after taking a week off from doing the actual writing around here, I would have quite the stockpile of stuff to relate now that I’m back. And indeed stuff has happened. Sadly, most of it is stuff I can’t talk about yet.

Which is fine, because you know what the secret to a successful blog is? Discretion. Yeah, that really puts butts in seats. Naked webcams and detailed sexual narratives are all well and good, but at the end of the day it’s the discreet blogger who has the most rabid fans.


Back when I started this site, I read an article that included the ten commandments of blogging or online journaling or whatever it was. I took those directives to heart, and ever since I have endeavored to religiously adhere to them. The ones I remember, at least.

One of them was, “Don’t say something exciting or horrible or scandalous is happening and then refuse to say what it is because you ‘can’t talk about it.’ If you can’t talk about it, don’t bring it up at all.” And here I am, doing just that with several dozen developments from the past week. Not that anything horrible or scandalous happened. The only balm for my conscience is my promise to let you know how it all turns out after my various windows for jinxing things or speaking out of turn have closed. Unless I forget to, of course, in which case none of it will be terribly interesting after the fact anyway.

In the meanntime, I can tell you what hasn’t been going on.

I haven’t been fired from my day job. I haven’t been reduced to living off of dropped birdseed scrounged out of the neighbors’ yards, and I’m not constructing clothes with what I can scavenge from the lint filters at the laundromat.

I am not involved in any sort of legal or judicial proceeding, either as a plaintiff or defendant. Barring unforeseen circumstances, at this time next week I will neither be flush from a fat settlement nor feathering my new cage at Guantanamo.

My marriage remains stable and happy, aside from periods when it is temporarily destabilized by an excess of happiness. Those periods aren’t as bad as I just made them sound.

My cats are not on the threshold of lucrative modeling careers. There is such a thing as too cute, apparently.

Still not gay.

There are no major changes to the site in store. None that I know of, at least. I could have a crippling “accident” and turn this into a recovery blog, but I decided early on that I wouldn’t do that. Unless I suffered a really catastrophic drop in traffic that made severe burns on 95% of my body appear preferable in comparison.

I have not started liking ClearChannel.

My back yard has not yet been shortlisted for the cover of Home and Garden magazine. Maybe next year.

Wow, looking back on what I just wrote, I guess there’s not much interesting going on after all. You’re not missing much. Never mind. As you were.

I’ll let you know as soon as something pops, though. Unless it doesn't. Wait, we covered that already.

posted by M. Giant 3:29 PM 0 comments


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