M. Giant's
Velcrometer Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks
Tuesday, December 24, 2002
Damn. Here it is, Christmas Eve, and I didn’t get you guys anything. I feel like such a schmuck. You’ve all been so good to me, and here I am repaying you with bubkes. And it’s not like we Internet people can’t find ways to show our appreciation for all y’all. Like Odd Todd, for instance. Or James Lileks. On behalf of his readers, he donated a water buffalo to a family in Southeast Asia, for the love of Pete. I’m not even kidding. Can I compete with that? No, I bloody well can’t.
But here’s what I’m going to do.
I’m going to make you all a promise. I’m going to promise you that 2003 is going to be the best full year of Velcrometer to date. Provided I make it to the end, that is.
I’ll promise to update five times a week, except when I don’t.
And those are just the promises I can think of right now.
And there are going to be big changes coming soon. Big!
Okay, maybe they’ll only seem big to me because I’m going to be the one who’s making them, but I’m the one behind the mike here. And when I say big, then believe you me, you’d just better nod and smile politely and then roll your eyes after I look away. Got it?
Wait, I just thought of something I can do for you guys!
Years ago, when Trash and I were much younger and not all that financially solvent, one of the gifts I gave her was a Christmas story I wrote. It made her so happy that I’ve written her a new Christmas story every other year ever since. Some have been more successful than others, but she always enjoys them.
So that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to post a link to one of my best Christmas stories, and you can click on it and be moved and touched and all that by the spirit of Christmas glowing from your monitor screen. I feel much better now.
Yeah. Anyway.
Christmas story. Link coming right up.
Any second now.
As soon as I find a place to post it and figure out how.
You know, now that I think about it, it’s a little late for a Christmas story. Maybe I’ll do that next year.
Hey, I just thought of another promise! A Christmas story, coming December 2003! Woo Hoo! You’ll love it! And you will have totally forgotten about my promise by then, so it’ll totally be a surprise.
Oh, and one more surprise for you: I don’t know if I’ll update tomorrow or not! You don’t know! It’s a surprise either way!
Okay, I’m done now.
Have a happy December 25th, everyone.
posted by M. Giant
12:34 PM
0 comments
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Hi, I'm M. Giant. I'm here because while there's no shortage of people hurling their least
significant thoughts and feelings up on the Internet, none of those people are me. I'm
here because I've got nothing to say, and by God I'm going to say it.
My goal with this blog is to spend time writing something, anything, rather than just sitting around
slackjawed. I hope to hone my writing skills, build a small but loyal following, then a slightly larger
and more fiercely loyal following, ultimately culminating in the destruction of my enemies and total world
domination.
Feel free to e-mail me if you like, but only if you don't mind that anything you say is likely to end up on the site.
I can't guarantee that I'll be nice about it.
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You could steal from me, but you'd only be hurting yourself. Using
me as your instrument.