M. Giant's
Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks

Tuesday, October 08, 2002  

On my desk, I have a candy wrapper that I picked up a few months ago. There was candy in it at the time; I’m not some weirdo who goes around collecting discarded candy wrappers off the ground. As I ate the candy, I read the message printed on the wrapper:

“The best ideas come after you think you’ve run out of them.”

I’ve hung onto that wrapper for inspiration ever since. Thank God I did because today, something came to me.

Candy wrappers lie.

Stupid candy wrapper.

I’m going to limp through an entry today anyway. Don’t expect a theme or anything.

* * *

In Serres, Greece, a 66-year-old grandmother became a celebrity of sorts after telling a story about how she drove two knife-weilding burglars from her home.

"I grabbed his arm, pulled the knife from him and stabbed him in the gut," she said. "The two men were forced to flee."

Yesterday she admitted to making up the story when the blood on her clothes turned out to be tomato sauce. "The woman had made it all up because she wanted to convince her husband to spend more time with her at home," said a police official.

Let’s go back to her original story:

"I grabbed his arm, pulled the knife from him and stabbed him in the gut," she said.

Husband not hanging with you? Feeling neglected? Want to put a little spark back in the marriage? Just claim to be someone who’s capable of disarming a man and perforating a bowel. That ought to fix the problem. What’s for lunch, honey?

Besides, everybody knows that the proper way for grandmothers to get the attention they need is to shoot the person who’s ignoring her in the first place. Jeez.

* * *

I entered a screenplay in the second Project Greenlight contest. In order to qualify, each contestant has to read and review four other screenplays. I’ve read two so far.

If they’re representative of the general quality of the submissions, I’m really liking my chances this time around.

* * *

Okay, short notice, I know. But Trash and I are going to New York on Thursday. This’ll be the second time for both of us, and our first time together unless you count a three-hour layover at JFK, which you probably won’t. Heck, we’ll stop counting it ourselves on Thursday.

But anyway, since you guys came through for us so fabulously before our Seattle trip, I thought I’d hit y’all up for some recommendations. Because, really, the last thing we want is to be stuck in some backward, jerkwater burg like New York City with fuck-all to do on a Friday night. You guys are our only hope. E-mail me and rescue us. Do it now!

posted by M. Giant 3:30 PM 0 comments


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