M. Giant's
Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks

Friday, October 25, 2002  

Don’t really feel like updating today, but I will anyway.

Last summer, Trash and I got some real momentum going on fixing up our house. We totally redid the kitchen (except for the floor, which went in this spring), painted and rearranged the living room and the hallway, and any number of other, more minor projects. We decided we’d replace the ceiling in the basement that winter.

One year later, we still have the old basement ceiling. It’s my least favorite thing about the house, and that includes the bucket underneath the toilet. It’s the kind with interlocking tiles that really show the water stains and numerous downward bulges. It has several different levels because the previous owner who installed it (a man we’ve unaffectionately dubbed “Dr. Jellyfinger” based on all of the ambitious screwups he left us to deal with) forgot to take things like low-hanging pipes into account when he put it up. It contains recessed lights that, even with 100-watt bulbs, provide about as much illumination as chewing on a Wint-O-Green Lifesaver™. The cats went through a phase where they’d crawl up between the ceiling and the subfloor, so they’ve knocked out a few tiles and created an area that looks like a septuagenarian hockey player’s smile. And it gently caresses visitors with a gentle drift of asbestos* fibers. I can’t wait to get rid of it.

I hate it so much that I’m actually prepared to tear the whole thing down right now, light fixtures and all. I’d rather look up at the subfloor, plumbing, wiring, and bare light bulbs than the mess we have now. Unfortunately, Trash disagrees with me, so we have to keep the ceiling up until we’re ready to hang the new one.

Or do we?

Would it be imprudent of me to point out that Trash is out of town this weekend?

I’m not even sure if she’ll have Internet access, so I could conceivably get those grubby old ceiling tiles pulled down and bagged up at the curb before she even knows what I’m up to.

And it’s not like we’d have to have a naked ceiling indefinitely (i.e., another year. Heh). I’ve already scheduled people to come over and help me put up a brand, new, shiny suspended ceiling, with pristine white tiles and sufficient lighting and all one height. That’s happening in just two weeks. You might even say that tearing down the old tiles now is a good idea, because it’ll give me a chance to tell in advance what kind of project we’re going to be dealing with when we hang the new grid. If there are any obstacles, maybe we should know about them now so we have time to figure out how to deal with them in advance, no?

Besides, we’re planning on painting the walls down there anyway. Maybe a ceiling-less interval of a couple of weeks would be the ideal time to do just that. We’d only have to do half of the taping. Of course, that doesn’t leave me much time to talk Trash into letting me paint it dark red instead of applying that tea-stained textural paint that Gen used on Trading Spaces a couple of weeks ago, but we’re both flexible. We can compromise and use dark red textural paint. Where was I?

Oh, yeah. The ceiling. Now that I think about it, I don’t really want to do something this major to the house without letting Trash know in advance. She may have reasons for keeping the ceiling up until the last minute that she hasn’t fully communicated to me. And it would be wrong of me to betray her trust by making a mess of the house while she’s away from it and can’t do anything to stop me. So I’m going to hold off because it’s the right thing to do.

And also because I’m very, very lazy.

*Not really.

posted by M. Giant 3:24 PM 0 comments


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