Velcrometer
Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks
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M. Giant's Velcrometer Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks |
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Tuesday, August 20, 2002 I'm glad I didn't spend a lot of time arranging my Zen Rock Garden just so, because apparently it's community property. People just love to push the little wooden rake through the sand when they come to my desk. So I guess it's good that I didn't spend a lot of time getting it just right. I'd feel like quite the jerkwad if I stood up from my desk every couple of days and bellowed, "WHO'S BEEN PLAYING WITH MY SAND?!?" T. Rex is the most creative about it. For a while, she had the stones arranged so they were standing up in a little circle, one of them lying on top of two others so it looked like a teeny-tiny little Stonhenge. It made Spinal Tap’s Stonehenge look almost like the real thing by comparison. People who say you can’t be funny with pebbles just aren’t trying hard enough. I forgot to mention this the other day, but the Zen Rock Garden is probably the best thing I could have at my desk that's associated with the word "garden." I used to have a plant at home. It looked like Jean Reno's plant in Leon, aka The Professional, and I paid it about the same amount of attention. Then we got a cat, who kept eating the plant until he finally pulled it off the windowsill and killed it. So no more plants at home for me. Then I won a plant at work, to keep at my desk. But I was like, "hey, I'm working here, not gardening," and I forgot to water it, and it died. By the next time I looked at it, it was a dessicated stick poking out of a lump of dirt that had shrunk to half the size of the pot it was in. I tried to rescue it anyway, even though I was pretty sure it was hopeless. I’d pour water in the pot and it would go right into the saucer. However, after a week or so, the lump of dirt was a little bigger. I got a small sense of accomplishment from that. Then I accidentally brushed the remains of the plant with the glass. The stem shivered into a small puff of dust, and that was the end of that. Then T. Rex got me a cactus. She thought it was funny. She thought I wouldn't be able to kill it. She was half right. One watering and three years later, somebody pointed out to me that my cactus was kaput. Again, I made heroic efforts to revive it, but since it looked exactly the same after a couple of weeks, I had to give up hope. Not that it looked all that different than it had the day I got it. Shut up. Cactuses are hard! So now I have my Zen Rock Garden. Fortunately for it, it’s fairly low-maintenance. But if there's a way to kill it, rest assured that I'll find it. I just wish I could figure out why it doesn’t seem to be growing. * * * One of the most difficult things about maintaining a blog is trying to stay out of a rut. Especially if you write every day, you run the risk of settling into a routine, you stop taking risks, and before long the blog is a shadow of its former self, a ghoulish, lifeless revenant shambling hopelessly towards the big bit bucket in the sky. So today I’m doing something I’ve never done before. Are you ready? Here goes: Chicago: Ravenswood Manor/Horner Park (AVAILABLE NOW AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 2002) Archivist/part-time grad student and her dog seek respectful roommate to share: large 2 BR vintage apt. in HORNER PARK (Montrose & California) 3 blocks to Francisco Brown Line stop furnished (except bedroom) in 6-flat $500 rent (includes all utils: DSL, heat, gas and electric) 12 x 12 sq. ft. bedroom with spacious closet 3-season porch, eat-in kitchen, back yard free washer possible use of garage About Me: 38, gay, good sense of humor, considerate, reader, radio listener, cyclist wannabe, German speaker, moderate drinker, non-smoker; neat. About Dog: 25-lb. female terrier, loves walks. e-mail: betharthur@yahoo.com Okay, that wasn’t really all that exciting. I’m just doing this as a favor to a friend of Trash's from grad school. If you’re looking for a roommate in Chicago, there you go. posted by M. Giant 3:43 PM 0 comments 0 Comments:
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