M. Giant's
Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks

Wednesday, April 24, 2002  

One of the reasons that people return to other people's personal websites is because those sites give their readers a unique perspective--some point of view they can't get from someone else. What makes me unique, you ask?

Raise your hand if you've ever gone in to get a root canal and ended up falling asleep in the dentist's chair.

Without anesthetic.

Yeah, I figured a lot of hands would go down when I said that.

The thing is, I have such a high pain threshold that I'm practically impervious to it. And really, when you're lying flat on your back in a comfy chair with nothing to do, what does one expect?

No seriously, the truth is that I showed up right on time for my 4:00 appointment yesterday, but apparently my dentist was running behind. That didn't stop them from ushering me to a room and parking me in a chair to wait.

The funny thing is that my body's circadian rhythm has a sense of humor. My metabolism likes to tell my body to shut down for a nap just about every day between 4:00 and 5:00. I'm not sure what evolutionary purpose this serves, other than potentially getting me killed on the drive home. Unless that is the evolutionary purpose, in which case I'm about to be very depressed.

The upside is that instead of sitting in my dentist's chair for a half hour, getting progressively more nervous about the pain and expense while working myself into an indignant frenzy over the unconscionable delay, I spent the time between 4:05 and 4:35 sleeping the sleep of the just. Or perhaps even the sleep of the just after.

I imagine that the dentist's scheduling specialist expected me to rip out her spleen when she walked into the room to offer me the option of either rescheduling or continuing to wait. I couldn't bring myself to do it. First of all, that's not my way. And secondly, I just had a nap! What do I have to be pissy about? I was sleeping comfortably while thirty feet away, she was dealing with workday stress and trying to earn a paycheck. Furthermore, now I can go home without a numb/sore kisser. I'm looking at my end of the lollipop, and it's fuzz-free, baby.

Maybe you're impressed that I'm even capable of falling asleep when at any given moment I'm potentially sixty seconds away from having power tools grinding away at my choppers. Don't be. The night before my first root canal, I could barely sleep at all. Yesterday would have been my third one in about a month. I know that some people think the term "root canal" is a synonym for "pain," but those people probably haven't had one recently. I know what to expect now, and my experience tells me that it really isn't all that bad.

Having said that, of course, now I know that my next one will hurt like a motherfucker.

posted by M. Giant 11:03 AM 0 comments


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