M. Giant's
Velcrometer Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks
Monday, April 01, 2002
I initially started out this blog with the idea that it would be anonymous, as a sort of experiment. But I'm finding that it's too difficult to start over. I'm not as young as I used to be. So over the weekend, I decided I would come forward with my true identity.
I am Dave Barry. I am not making this up.
Over the past six months, ever since the release of Big Trouble was postponed in the wake of September 11, I've begun questioning whether I still have the drive to continue with my nationally syndicated column. I started wondering, is my work today as good as it was when I first started writing for the Herald? Is it my work that keeps me in print, or just the momentum I've generated with my name?
So I decided to see what would happen if I ditched the name and took up writing under an alias. Depressingly, the answer is nothing. Whatever I had that landed me this gig all those years ago, whether it was talent, drive, or boredom, it's gone now. Although I guess I can eliminate boredom, because I've still got plenty of that.
That's why I decided that the readers of this blog (all two of them, counting myself) should be the first to know that I'm packing it in. This will be the last year of my column. I'll make an official announcement in a few months. Thank you for all your support, and for having the honesty to let me...umm...
Okay, obviously this is just a silly April Fool's gag. I'm not really quitting my column. Thanks for reading, everyone!
posted by M. Giant
10:33 AM
0 comments
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Hi, I'm M. Giant. I'm here because while there's no shortage of people hurling their least
significant thoughts and feelings up on the Internet, none of those people are me. I'm
here because I've got nothing to say, and by God I'm going to say it.
My goal with this blog is to spend time writing something, anything, rather than just sitting around
slackjawed. I hope to hone my writing skills, build a small but loyal following, then a slightly larger
and more fiercely loyal following, ultimately culminating in the destruction of my enemies and total world
domination.
Feel free to e-mail me if you like, but only if you don't mind that anything you say is likely to end up on the site.
I can't guarantee that I'll be nice about it.
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You could steal from me, but you'd only be hurting yourself. Using
me as your instrument.