M. Giant's
Throwing stuff at the internet to see what sticks

Tuesday, April 30, 2002  

I didn't update yesterday because I left work early to take Trash to the Urgent Care Center. Don't worry, she's not dead or anything. She has a deep cut on her index finger from a rusty nail, and we were getting worried becuase it wasn't healing and it was swelling up and turning purple and forcing her to write "KILL KILL KILL KILL" on every available surface. They put a splint on her finger and told her to keep it elevated, which means she has to go around all the time constantly looking like she just had a great idea. Or she needs you to wait a second.

"Yes, dear," I patiently say to her every five minutes. "You're number one."

She hates me. But what can I say? It makes me sad to see her suffering, so I figure she owes me that much amusement.

* * *

Maybe you're tired of reading about all my little projects around the house. It could be worse, though. You could be me.

I'm trying to do something on the house every day. Like last night around 9:00, I decided to recaulk the tub and shower surround. I'd wield the caulk gun for an hour or so and take the rest of the evening off. Even taking into account the fact that I'm about as handy with a caulk gun as I am with a spear gun. Did you know stuff keeps coming out of the tube even after you stop squeezing the trigger? That ain't right.

Before I started shooting caulk all over the bathroom like incredibly sticky Silly String, I figured it would be a good idea to scrape away some of the old caulk. After I'd done that for a few seconds, it stopped looking like a good idea, since it turned out that the caulk was the only thing holding up the shower walls.

Brothers and sisters, can I get an "oops?"

I'm just glad Home Depot is open around the clock, because where else is a guy going to get shower wall glue at 10:00 p.m.? Of course I also got some AAA batteries, a couple of rolls of duct tape, a dinky little paint roller for touching up the bathroom wall where I patched it, some stuff for gluing down the loose edges on my new kitchen floor, and a bunch of other crap I can't think of right now. I nearly bought a new bathroom vanity cabinet while I was at it. Normally I'm not an impulse shopper, but I really shouldn't be allowed into Home Depot alone.

So I got home and glued the shower surround back onto the drywall (and I can't tell you how relieved I was to see that it still was dry wall, considering how the plastic had pulled away). Then it was time to fire up the caulk gun.

Except you know what? Now they have these sealant strips. They're awesome. They're like bathtub caulk in tape form. I was able to slap these up and give the edges of the surround a sleek, neat appearance. It took a little longer, but it was much better than flinging gobs of caulk at the seams and ending up with something that looks like it was done by Jackson Pollock in monochrome. When he was in second grade. It was almost worth having to wash my hair in the kitchen sink this morning while I give the stuff 24 hours to cure. Plus I was in bed by 1:30 a.m.

Trash tried to wait up for me, but I'm glad to say she was in bed and asleep by the time I got finished. There she was, sleeping peacefully, her injured hand propped up by pillows.

I stood over her motionless form and pointed right back at her, saying, "No, you the man."

It's going to be a long couple of weeks for her, I'm thinking.

posted by M. Giant 10:33 AM 0 comments


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